take my hoodie ✓

thirty-one | realisation

~no pov

"Dobby, please let me go see Blaise and Pansy." Draco begged. "I need to talk to them about something serious."

It had been two weeks since Dobby found the youngest Malfoy unconscious on the floor of his en-suite. He was still on house arrest.

"No."

"Please, it's important!"

"Tell me then."

"No."

"Then no."

Draco sulked off to his room and decided he didn't give a shit what Dobby thought. His Malfoy mentality returned, and he decided Dobby was beneath him and was irrelevant.

He punched a wall shortly after because he hated the way he was brought up. He hadn't always had Dobby. For a while, Minky raised him and made him believe everything his father did.

The only reason he changed his mindset was because one, he's fucking gay and couldn't be homophobic if his own heart chased after men, and two, because his mother was the sweetest, most supportive, not-present woman ever, and didn't believe anything his father did.

He'd choose his mother over his father any day.

And Dobby helped him change his ways, because his mother couldn't. Dobby was a good person. Dobby was a good role model.

Draco put on his black Air Force ones, black trousers and dark green polo-neck top with a Gucci belt and walked right out the house. It was quite cold out, considering it was nearing mid-January, and he wished he wore a jacket.

Too late.

It was nearing up to a rough day for him, the one year anniversary. 

Would Potter understand? Should I talk to him about it? Is it too soon? Should I tell Blaise and Pansy instead? Has he had a similar experience?

Draco Malfoy, unproud overthinker, had a million thoughts in his head. He plugged his AirPods into his ears and let himself focus on the music instead. 

Despite having a gorgeous, sleek, black Lamborghini Aventador and a personal chauffeur, yes rich bitch, Draco loved walking.

It helped keep him fit, and also because it was so calming. However, if he ever talked about his struggles and was told to "take a walk", he would never walk anywhere again.

He arrived at the Zabini Castle after twenty minutes of peacefully loud music. Pansy was already there when he entered, sitting next to the dark-skinned boy on a leather L-shaped sofa.

She was sitting in the corner seat, her legs over Blaise's. They always seemed very couple-like, but Blaise was painfully gay and Pansy was a proud lesbian.

She wanted to be Pansy the Pansexual because it just made sense, but she realised just how much she absolutely hated men, except the two boys in the room. Women were the only gender that could make her blush.

Draco plopped onto the couch next to Pansy as loud as he could, resting his head on her lap and letting his legs lie across the empty space of the couch.

"Nice to see you too, Shnookums." Pansy laughed.

The three of them had stupid nicknames for each other that never failed to amuse them.

"You too, Sugarplum." 

"You had something to tell us?" Blaise asked. "Babycakes." 

Draco chuckled. "When will we lose the atrocious pet names?"

"When I die. What'd you want to tell me and Cutiepie?" Pansy asked rather demandingly. "So help me god, if you don't tell us-"

"Relax." Draco sighed. "I don't really want to bully people any more."

His view on bullying completely changed after finding out the effect it had on Potter. Had he bullied people into disordered eating too? He never body shamed anyone, but he'd thrown insults around.

"Good. What changed?" Blaise responded bluntly.

Draco bit his lip. He didn't know where the habit came from, but he found it quite relieving. "I had a ... realisation that bullying harms people in ways I never would've thought."

When I find out who bullied Potter into hating himself, I'll slit their throats and hang them by their balls. If he never recovers, I'll kill them again.

"You alright there, Shnookums?" Pansy asked. "Draco? Cutiepie, look, he's got that homicidal look again. Who does he want to kill?"

"Honeynugget... I think Draco's fallen for someone who's been bullied." Blaise joked. When Draco didn't reply, the two were a bit worried. "Pansy, he's not talking. Pansy, Pansyyyyy, he looks like he's about to murder someone and we're the closest people to kill."

"Relax, Angelface." Draco laughed. "I do want to murder someone, or rather some people. But I've not fallen for anyone."

"Who hurt this mystery person who you 'haven't' fallen for?" 

"I don't know. But.. let's just say he's damaged, almost beyond repair, because of some fuckers at our school. Some fuckers we could be friends with."

plan dbr: damaged beyond repair

"Calm yourself." Blaise scolded, seeing how his friend had clenched his hand into a fist and turned his knuckles whiter than white. "Tell me how we can help."

"I just need them to back off him. To stop telling him things that-" That made him see himself as lesser than the least. More worthless than the worst. "That hurt him."

"Him?" Pansy grinned. "Who's the lucky guy?"

"I don't like him." Draco rolled his eyes.

Pansy knew he did, she just knew, but he needed to realise it himself. So, she did what always worked. "Describe him to me."

"He's got glasses, which suck because he's got the most beautiful, emerald eyes and they shouldn't be covered. But his glasses make him look adorable, I can't lie. And his hairs always messy, untameable even. He has his reasons, but still. It's still quite soft.

He does this thing where he runs his fingers through my hair, and TMI, but it's so much more.. I don't know, nice than having it tugged in- well you know where. And he has such a beautiful smile. It's so stupid but it's beautiful. And his laugh is perfect.

He has questionable style, but it suits him. He makes every colour look good. 

He's really good at listening. Like really good. He'll listen, and he'll hug you and wipe your tears. He'll tell you he's proud of you, that you're doing okay, and how you're going to get better and be happier. 

He makes me happy. Like, really happy. Like he puts a smile on my face with his stupid, stupid jokes. And his stupid smile. And then he'll make you dance in the middle of a field in the rain just because he wants to. 

He's carefree, and hurt, so hurt, but he's somehow the strongest person I've ever met. He acts like he's weak, he thinks he is, but he's so fucking strong. He's brave. He's really brave. 

He's everything I never was."

Once Draco broke out of the spell that made him describe everything Harry James Potter did that made him so perfect, he came to a scary realisation.

I'm in love with Potter.