take my hoodie ✓

fifty-eight | binge

england is kinda slaying in the world cup so far

lol again england is slaying in the world cup

btw if u cant tell from the chapter title, this chapter's gonna be a bit eh

tw: bulimia relapse and a cheeky mental breakdown

~no pov

Draco was waiting for Harry to come back, so they could eat Christmas dinner together. It was supposed to be a way for Draco to fight against the voice in his head that wanted him to eat everything he saw. 

He texted his boyfriend, but only to be left on delivered for an hour. Then two. He wasn't sure why Harry hadn't texted back, but it was bothering him. Maybe it was the nerves, or the voice in his head screaming at him to eat, eat, eat, but he felt himself get angry.

Don't. I'm sure he has his reasons to not reply.

Fuck. This was hard. He knew Christmas was a tough day, specifically in recovery. He didn't want to binge- he did it last year. And the year before, but that was different, because recovery hadn't even crossed his mind then.

Draco stood up, pacing in his room. He realised he'd be burning calories by doing this, and sat back down. The moment he did, his leg started bouncing up and down, up and down, up and down. He was anxious, jittery. He needed something to do.

Music.

Grabbing his AirPods, he played music and focussed on that, solely on that, but the smell of the dinner downstairs played with his focus. He needed to get out.

Quickly putting on a pair of basic black trainers, he ran downstairs, but immediately went towards the dining room. There it was, the delicious dinner his maids had cooked for the family. 

He could tell both of his parents had already eaten by the fact that some of the food had been taken from their plates. He wondered if the food was still warm.

Eat. Eat one meal and go. You can't not eat turkey on Christmas.

Draco decided to take one helping of the food. It was Christmas, and when Harry came over, he'd have seconds. Seconds weren't bad. Everyone has seconds. 

The blond cut a slice of turkey, put a few Yorkshire puddings on his plate along with two balls of stuffing and coated it all with gravy. He fucking loved gravy. What insane person doesn't love gravy?

Slowly, he took a singular bite of the turkey, being careful as ever. He kept his Malfoy etiquette, unlike most years, and smiled. The food tasted extra good this year. It was like the maids wanted him to binge.

He didn't though.

He ate slowly, calmly and quietly, listening to music as he did. Orange Juice, by Melanie Martinez played and it felt like a personal attack. But he stayed peaceful, finishing his singular portion of food proudly.

An hour later, still no reply from Harry, Draco found himself at the dinner table again. Orange Juice was playing again, and he was back where he was for the past few Christmases. Binging.

First, he went for the turkey again. It tasted so much better this year- how couldn't he finish it? No food this good deserved to be wasted. 

And the Yorkshire puddings were so, so tasty. They were soft, buttery almost, but still crunchy. Mini pools of gravy sat in the middle before it fell down the side of Draco's mouth, dripping down his chin onto his clothes.