Glee: Fabray's Secret

Chapter 29 - Ryder's Breakdown

"All right, guys." Mr Schue said after writing "All or Nothing" on the whiteboard and turning around. "It's finally here. Regionals!"

Everyone clapped and cheered, glad to hear that it was finally here after waiting what felt like forever as the school year took its time and dragged on, unwanted.

"Yeah! That's right! I just found out, because of safety concerns related to late-season tornados, Indianapolis has declined to host the competition." Mr Schue said sitting down infront of the kids. "So! As defending champions, we're having regionals here, in our auditorium."

"Did you hear that?" Artie shouted as everyone clapped excitedly. "Yes! Home court advantage, yo!"

"Now, because of a sexting scandal at Our Lady of Perpetual Loneliness, their glee club, the Nun-touchables, has been excommunicated by the new pope." Mr Schue said making some people squint at the slight weirdness. "They've been replaced by the world-famous boys of Ziegler Prep, the Waffle-toots."

"Like cake farts?" Artie said tilting his head in confusion but Blaine nodded and said. "They're very good."

"The Hoosierdaddies are still the odds-on favorite. I mean, their lead vocalist, Frida Romero, is a tiny juggernaut of talent." Mr Schue said watching as everyone settled down. "We are in for the fight of our lives. So let's get real. There comes a moment in every performer's life that defines him or her, sometimes for the rest of their career. This is our moment. We've struggled, we've endured, and now we must triumph." He said earning smiles from almost everyone apart from Ryder whose head was somewhere else. "And speaking of that, I want us all to just take a moment to send some positive energy to one of our very own. She has her final callback for Funny Girl today."

----

"Marley, stop, Jake six, seven, eight, nine, ten," Mr Schue said standing in the middle of the choir room counting everyone. "Uh, are, are Joe and Sugar here?"

"Present, Mr. Shue." Sugar shouted strutting in with Joe trudging in behind her happily.

"Come on." Mr Schue shouted patting Joe's back. "Great. Okay. Guys, I have finalized our set list. We are going with "I Love It" by Icona Pop."

"I love it! Yes." Artie shouted excited for the song.

""Hall of Fame" by The Script and will.I.am." Mr Schue said looking at his list then to Brittany who just walked in with her suitcase rolling behind her. "And Marley's original song "All or Nothing.""

"Hey, Mr. Shue, what about my original song?" Brittany said once she got to her seat but not sitting down, instead, standing up and drawing attention to herself. "Do you remember? My cup, my cup. Sayin' "What's up?" To my cup, my cup. More of a friend than a silly-" She began singing with Artie who joined in and danced along with her.

""My Cup" is one of a kind," Mr schue said turning, raising his eyebrows and placing the sheet music on the piano. "But we're going with Marley's song."

"Oh, come on, boo. Two thumbs down." Brittany said surprising everyone with her sudden change of tone leaving Marley feeling a little dented. "The only way to polish that turd of a song is with my angelic alto voice."

"Whoa." Marley said eventually turning around and looking at her, still in shock.

"So I demand to sing it as a solo. And I demand to sing all the good songs as solos. Everyone can snap their fingers and march around behind me." She said making her way out to the front of the choir room in the middle of everyone. "Tina, please make an exact replica of Jennifer Lawrence's Oscar dress."

"Um, no." Tina said slightly offended.

"Um, yes." Brittany retorted, rotating so everyone could see her. "Let me break it down. No one in this musty choir room compares to my megawatt star power." She turned to the people sitting in the seats. "Blaine, you're shorter than your average lawn gnome. Joe, you look like a Yucatán spider monkey. Sam, your lips are abnormally large, even a fish would reject kissing you. Effie, well your boyfriend is practically a fish and you sound like a mouse. Marley takes everything to heart and Jake, your heart is as hard as Blaines hair after his morning ritual of hair gel and hairspray. Who names their kid Kitty? Wait, no, who names their kid Sugar? Unique we all know that's a wig. Ryder, well you're being catfished from someone in this room and it's not me so good luck. Tina is you know, she's Tina." Everyone was completely in shock, she literally just insulted everyone in that room apart from Mr Schue. "Moving on, I repeat: I require all the solos. That's just the way it's gonna be."