Isla Davis
23/01/2011
(Based on true events)
"She was my light of hope when everything went dark, she encouraged me when I thought I wasn't right for something because of my low self esteem, she grew that just like she grew every flower in my withered garden. My mother was truly an angel and good people always have to leave earlier, I just wish it wasn't my mother. Everyday is gonna look black and white now that I will have to live without her. I love you mother, truly."
I finish the speech to my mother's funeral that I paid with my own money and I don't regret it, I just wish I had more money to help her live at least a little longer.
This is the day that my whole life turned upside down, everything that once made me happy, she's not there to make me happy anymore. This is the day I lost my mother and I am here at her funeral, it's so hard to lose your mother at the age of fourteen. I would like to believe that I deserve more and that there is hope for me, even if my dad is the biggest asshole possible.
Sometimes I wonder if wishing that my father was there instead of my mother makes me a bad person? I mean I think that everyone would wish the same thing as me or I have just become a bad person now that I have lost my mother.
People come and go, sending their condolences. I hate doing funerals, I don't want to greet and socialize for my mother's death, I want to be alone with my own mother and talk to her, even though I'm not sure if she can hear me but I would like to believe that she can hear me.
As I make my way to my mother's coffin I see a lovely butterfly on top of it and when I raise my hand to touch it, it doesn't go away, it stays right there and that's when I burst into tears.
"I miss you mother, so much" I sob in her dead body inside the coffin.
I can't help but think about our last interaction together before her condition got worse to the point where she couldn't even remember or say anything. It was truly heartbreaking, it still is.
- Flashback -
(Based on true events)
"Have you lost your mind? She hit her head so hard on the kitchen counter, I know you pushed her" I hear my mother yell at my lovely father.
"I didn't push her she just slipped" He lies. He always lies to mom about abusing me and she always believes him, believes me when I also lie to her.
"If something happens to her, I'm putting the blame on you" She yells at him and then it all goes black.
"Isla, stay with me please" She told me. I wanted her to stay with me, I was only fourteen.
"It's okay mom, I'm okay" I assure her as I wipe the tears off of her face and caress her cheek as she rests her head on my hand.
I love her so much, I don't want to lose her. She has brain tumor on the fourth stage and the doctor told us that it's very difficult to treat, I have been working a lot to pay for her therapies while my dad just gets blacked out everyday.
"I love you mother, so much" I tell her tears threatening to leave my eyes.
"I love you Isla" She says kissing my forehead.
