How the Mighty Fall (The Sinner #1)

SIN 15

Viel

We stood for so long in that lighthouse that I'm faint by the time we entered the car. My mind is filled with so much questions but my exhaustion took away my strength to even articulate. Tumulala lang naman si Kairos doon pagkatapos ng aking sinabi. Inantok din siguro ako sa katahimikan.

Gusto ko siyang tanungin kung bakit niya ako isinama ngayon sa labas. Why did he allow me to see that vulnerability? If he knew he was in a bad place today, couldn't he have went to that lighthouse alone?

But somehow, I'm thankful that I got to see outside. I just wish there are more of these in the future. I feel so pissed at the thought that Kairos only allowed me this once. Parang pinatitikim lang ako. At kahit sabik na sabik pa ako ay hindi niya na ulit ibibigay sa akin.

Saktong pagmulat ko ay bumukas ang pinto sa passenger side. Yumuko si Kairos upang mabuhat ako na parang pang bagong kasal, ngunit nasira ko ang kanyang buwelo nang ipinulupot ko ang aking braso sa kanyang leeg at humarap ako sa kanya.

"Hmm...I want...carry...this..."I mumbled unintelligibly against his neck.

He grunted.

Instead of carrying me like a bride, I'm being carried like a baby, with my legs around his waist, and my front against his.

Inaantok lang ako. Let me slide this once.

"Kairos..." hinigpitan ko ang aking paa sa kanyang bewang. Humahanap ako ng komportableng pwesto sa kanyang balikat dahil ayaw kong bumangon. I scrunched my nose in satisfaction when I found a spot on the crook of his neck to snuggle on.

I felt something tighten and poke on the center below. My breath hitched at the same time Kairos muttered a curse.

"K-Kair-"

"Ignore it," he growled lowly.

Ramdam ko ang mas pagmamadaling lakad niya. Halos takbuhin niya na nga ang mansion papunta sa kanyang kwarto sa sobrang lawak ng kanyang hakbang.

Bumuntong hininga ako at ngumiti nang maramdaman ko na ang pagbagsak ko sa malambot niyang kama. The feel of newly replaced sheets on my skin, plus the soreness of my legs and feet against the soft mattress, felt like I was in heaven.

But I can't fully relax with one thing bugging my mind.

"Kairos," I called his name for the third time tonight.

Wala siyang imik ngunit ramdam ko na nandiyan siya at naghihintay. Unless these head spinning sensations disappear, he's definitely in my vicinity.

"I want to know why you're sad today," bulong ko.

He let out a cynical chuckle.

"You confused me," pakiramdam ko'y nagsasalita akong lasing kahit na hindi naman ako nakainom. "Hindi ako sanay na ganoon ka. But at the same time..."

Niyakap ko ang malambot na unan. It's newly fluffed. Siguro ay may naglinis dito kanina sa kanilang bahay.

"...at the same time, this is the first time I felt useful. Wala man akong ginawang kahanga hanga, masaya ako. Because you trusted me enough to accompany you. I was there."

"H'wag mong lagyan ng ibig sabihin. And I'm not sad. That's only for the weak. Do not humanize me-"

Mahinhin akong tumawa.

"Ganoong ganoon ka pa rin talaga," nakapikit kong sabi dahil sa antok. "Do not humanize you." Ngumiti ako nang may maalala mula noon.

He's pushing me away again. I don't mind. Just the fact that he's this worked up that I'm getting right to the bottom of his emotions, proves me a lot of things.