Lovers At Last

All Alone

HER POV:   

It was my sister's birthday today and as much as I didn't want to face my family, I wanted to be there to celebrate it with her. I didn't think I could do it alone, considering everything that happened in my teenage years. Alright, Erica, let's focus, we need to get her a present. What would a twelve year old want? Hm, I think I'm going to get her some new headphones because I think she said mum couldn't buy her new ones. I'm going to call her.

I hesitantly dialed the family phone, my breath becoming rapid. She picked up the phone, "ERICA IS THAT YOU?" "Yeah, Amelia, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" I yelled back, trying to fight back tears. "Are you coming, are you coming, are you coming?" "You bet." "Mum said I can't talk much longer to you, but is Mateo coming, we could play Play Station with him again?" She questioned... "Uh, sure, I'll invite him...I love you, okay?" "I love you too, Erica, mum said I have to go, I'm sorry, I'll see you later." I was nearly in tears. "Bye Amelia." And with that the line disconnected.

I miss them all so much, this just isn't fair. It's good I moved away but I left my siblings behind and that destroys me inside. How could I be this selfish? Fuck, Erica, you are a disgrace. Alright, let me call Mateo and see if he can come. I put in his phone number and called him.

M: "Hey baby, everything okay?"

E: "Yeah..no..don't worry..it's Amelia's birthday and uh she wants you to come, is..that okay?"

M: "Yeah, of course, are you alright? Having to go back there?"

E:  "Well it's my family and she's my sister so I have to suck it up."

M: "I'm coming over, you are not going to suffer alone. I'll see you in 5 minutes. I love you Erica."

E: "I love you too."

With that, the call was ended and I sank into the couch. This was way too much for me, having to go back to a place I wasn't wanted. A place I had tried to run from for ages, I had to face. My only comfort was that I wouldn't have to do it alone. Tears streamed down my face as I realised how much I missed them, how much we weren't allowed to talk to each other.

I heard a knock at my apartment door and I slowly walked over to the door, trying to not make it look like I was too upset. I opened the door to see Mateo with chocolate and flowers which made me smile. He was so sweet. "Hey Erica, you've been crying haven't you?" He asked. I shook my head. "Yes, you have, damn these motherfuckers that keep hurting you. I brought you chocolate and we could eat or if you wanted we could just cuddle, I know that's what you like doing.." he said in a calm voice. "Uh...we could do chocolate and cuddles..that works." He nodded and picked me up as I leant on his chest. As we lay on the couch, I rested my head on his lap. He pulled back strands of my hair.

"I know you like this song so I um..sort of practiced it and now I can sing it.." Mateo blurted out. My face lit up, he did that all for me? "Wait..you don't like singing." He shrugged "Well there's a girl called Erica Jenkins and she has like this impact on me and so I sort of tried to sing." I looked at him with my rosy cheeks and he chuckled. "Well if you must know, there is a boy called Mateo Willis and he's stolen my heart..I can't seem to get it back and he makes me blush like most days..yeah and he's super hot." I replied. He cupped my face and then kissed my forehead. "I love you so much Erica." "I love you so much more, Mateo."

******LATER THAT DAY******

Unfortunately, our cuddling had to be put to an end as the time for my sister's birthday had arrived.  I wasn't really excited to face my mum again but I decided to just try and enjoy myself, for my sister's sake. Since I moved away, my mum has been trying to restrict me from keeping in contact with my sister because she called me a "bad influence". Along with the other nicknames and terrible comments I had received as a child.

Life is sort of like when you make a mistake in school. You get to erase the mistake on the page but you still see the faded letters. It leaves a mark on you, no amount of erasing can take it off the page. Words sting and they leave a mark and that's what my mother never understood. Her own problems were made mine and I've got all the scars to prove it.

My siblings never got to see that side of mum and I'm grateful that they didn't. Others look at her as a catholic angel, I look at her as a monster. She showed me that not every parent deserves a child.

Every child deserves a happy childhood yet some don't get to because of women and men like her. The world isn't fair and that's bullshit. Why should you get put on a world that isn't fair? I'm only here because I can't let the ones I love bury me.

I might be fucked up and flawed heavily but I think I still deserve love. I've hurt a lot of people but I hope they soon realise that I didn't intentionally hurt them, I did it because I was scared of loving. Scared of giving my heart away just to have it stabbed again, it stings like hell when you give your all to someone and they just use that to their advantage. 

I'm an overthinker, ugly, a sensitive person but most of all I'm just a girl that wants to be loved and I want to live life like in the movies. That happy ever after.

This is probably the best I'm going to get so with a heavy heart and Mateo's hand in mine, I rang the doorbell which was attached to the door of my old family home. Fighting back every tear and strong emotion that was probably going to overwhelm me soon.

My only comfort was knowing I didn't have to do this all alone.