Broken texts

~My self~

i hate myself
hate the person that stares at me
when i look in the mirror
all i see is a dissapointment
someone not worth
love yourself
speak yourself
be yourself
easy to say
when you don't have my brain
my own body against me
wanting me to hate me
to want to escape
to leave this shitty world
crawl into the dark
bury myself
hurt myself
leave leave leave
cant stop thinking of the pain
need to feel it again
crave for the addicting feeling
for the calmness it brings
the numbness i feel
no evil thoughts
no pain
just silence
for once
i want it
need it
cant take it
a vicious cycle
again and again
no way out
just pain