INTRODUCTION
HOWDY, Y'ALL! I'M THE RIGHT HONORABLE RANTIN N. RAVEN-FAUX VI, MAYOR OF MYASSA.
WELCOME TO MYASSA! PLEASED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE! SET YOURSELF DOWN AND MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. WOULD YOU CARE FOR SOMETHING TO DRINK? SOME NICE W...
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Southern Culture's Superior White Whine
Redneck Blanc de Blancs – The Whitest of the White
Alas, poor little Southern Culture is feeling dissed again. Bring back the good old days, some cry. Others never leave them. Lately they have become collectively drunk with the euphoria and sense of well being that often preludes a fatal coronary. They performed "reverse cultural osmosis", separated from the full body, and now they want us to osmose into them. Their vitreous culture has reduced their clarity to a common white whine: "We're just celebrating our history!"
Characteristics:
Mis en bouteille after WNA (War of Northern Aggression).
Taste: hooded, cloying, lacks depth and character, unbalanced, no brilliance, highly astringent, mixes well with Koolaid and gunpowder.
Effects: exaggerated sense of entitlement, calcification, burning sensation. Intoxicating that the south's gonna rise up again. Don't get between it and the outhouse.
Growing environment: Made with the putrescent castoffs of the Grape White Hope, organically unreconstructed, extreme leaching, irrigated with pure white water from John Boy's septic tank.
Winner of 1st place White Ribbon from White Drunks on Hope. Nobody remembers why.
