Soulmates ( sequel of Meant to be )

Chapter 18

Days passed. He never came back. I never got to see him lively again. He was laughing with us when we were taking him to the hospital. He was happy or so I guess. My mind drifted off to the last time we talked alone. 4.30am, the way he was asking me water, the way I was whining. The day before when he wished me goodbye as I was going to clas, as if he knew that was our last goodbye. As if he knew, that was our last conversation, that's the reason I was awake on that day. As if everything was planned. As if it was destined for me to have that last conversation at 4.30am, to treasure it for the rest of my life. As if he knew, that was his last laugh with us, therefore although in pain, he was still laughing and making us happy too. As if it was meant to end this way. My Dad. One in a million, maybe he's seeing from somewhere, that his daughter actually loves him, misses him. Maybe he misses me too. It's good I called Rudra home on Ganesh Chaturti and he saw and approved him. It's like we have his blessing beforehand, since he won't be there for our marriage. Maybe even this was planned too. My Dad, won't be there to hold my hand, when I will be in my beautiful white wedding gown, to walk me down to the aisle. I cannot describe, how much it hurts. And niether do I want to, because no one, absolutely no one will understand. Each day 4.30am I go back in the living room, lay on the side he was when we talked, and try to feel his presence. I talk to him and when he does not respond, I cry. Never again in my life, will I be able to sleep that hour of the day. As if it is a father-daughter bonding time.
I am so unfortunate, when I had him, I never expressed my love. And when I do now, he is not there. It hurts. I know he's gone, never coming back, and life goes on. But I can't let go. The memories stay forever. When Harry insulted me, my Dad, was there, consoling me. When Khwaish left me, stopped talking completely, again I was in a miserable condition. Crying my eyes out, and he was still there.
Accidentally and unintentionally, he was always there in my hard times.
I was stupid! I was immature!!!
I was a love sick teenager!!!
Today I realised, life is not just being loved and loving someone. It is more.
No one is with you forever. No one at all. No love, no family and no friends.
You came on this planet alone, and you will die alone.
And the worst part is, you have to learn to live this life HAPPILY alone.
My Dad left me, my family. Khwaish left me, my friend. Ronak left Dia, her love. One day Rudra will leave me too, then what? Will I sit and cry? It's much better to stay alone. I lost my Dad, and I don't want to lose Rudra, so I will stay alone. I don't want him, I don't want, the happiness of his presence only to suffer the pain of his absence later. One way or the another, he is gonna leave, either death will takeover him, or by any other reason. I don't want him. I don't want anyone. I will stay alone. I will not socialize, I will not make friends. I will not talk to anyone. I will live with memories, beautiful memories, of Dad, of Khwaish, of Rudra. That's right, that's what I will do.