𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 (𝐂𝐅)

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐧- 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝟐𝟎

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Three years ago we found out Susanna had breast cancer. It was a winters afternoon, me, my brother, my dad and my mum were sat round the dinner table eating cottage pie when my mum said

"Guys we have something to tell you, now it's nothing to worry about but we feel it's unfair not to let you guys know."

I had a gut feeling that day something bad was going to happen, I just never thought it would be those words that came out of my mum's mouth. That Susanna had cancer.

That Christmas we went to the Fisher's and spent it with them. I cried when knowing was watching. Seeing her hair fall out, her body shrivel, her eyes go dim. It was heartbreaking.

But I knew Susanna wasn't like most, she would not let anything win. She was competitive and a fighter. I knew she would beat it. And she did. Everything was back to normal, until tonight.

I started blankly back at Conrad, I couldn't speak, I couldn't move, I felt paralysed. "I'm sorry I should have told you, I just needed to tell someone." He lets out a breath, I could see tears in his eyes.

"How did you find out." My voice was croaky, i chocked as my eyes started to well up. "I was looking for an email about a job that accidentally got sent to my mum and... there was hundreds of emails about scans and new test studies."

I close my eyes, I felt sick. "I need to go." I stand up finally getting the courage to move. "Come on El, I need you." He pleads with me, I looked to the boy, so vulnerable, so hurt.

This why he had changed this year, because he was the only person who knew about Susanna. "Let's go together, let's just get away for a bit." I wipe my nose as he looks unsure but then nods his head quickly. "Sure."

I go into the house, trying not to wake any one up as I grab a small bag placing a few clothes inside. "We'll take Steven's car he won't mind." I whisper walking down the stairs as Conrad nods his head with a bag in his hand as well.

We get into the car as Conrad insisted on driving, I didn't fight him on it, I don't think I had the strength to drive. "Where do you want to go?" He asks turning his head quickly to me as the radio played softly in the background.

"Just someone, anywhere that can take my mind off things." I sigh as I feel Conrad stop the car making a U turn. "I know a place."

I closed my eyes for the whole drive, but I couldn't sleep. All I kept picturing in my head was Susanna and what she was going through and why she hasn't told anyone, had she told my mum? They tell each other everything.

I feel the car stop as Conrad turns it off, I open my eyes to a small motel that was dimly lit. "Uh Conrad where are we?" I ask cautiously as he takes his seatbelt off.

"You'll see tomorrow, come on we're gonna stop here for the night." I was too tired to ask anymore questions and instead follow him out the car as we grab our bags and go into the motel getting a room.

"Uh do you have any double bed rooms available?" I ask putting my bag down at the counter. "Usually teens prefer a single room." The woman says, neither me or Conrad responding.

"There are, here, your room 20." She hands is the key as we thank her going to our room. It wasn't the best, the beds looked uncomfortable and the carpet was stained but I just needed a night away from Cousins, just too think.

I sit on one of the beds as Conrad takes the other running his hands through his hair. "Conrad I-" I start talking not knowing where to start.

"I'm sorry." I look to him as he keeps looking to the floor. "Everyone keeps asking why I've changed, they think it's because of Aubrey or quitting football, we'll know you know." He shrugs speaking quietly.

"How long have you known?"
"Since Christmas." I walk over to Conrad sitting next to him as his eyes still stay to the floor.
"Wait but surely with chemo Susanna shouldn't have hair?" I furrow my eyebrows as Conrad finally looks up to me.
"She's not doing chemo is she?" I answer my own question as I feel myself overwhelmed with sadness. "We need to convince her to do!" I stand up pacing the room.

"She has to do Chemo Conrad, if she doesn't she'll-" I cut myself off as I can't hold back the tears as they come rushing out, I cry out loud as I fall to the floor.

I feel Conrad sits next to me as he pushes my into his chest as he holds my head tightly. "We can't say anything, Jeremiah and the guys can't know." He tells me. I understood why, Jeremiah would be a complete mess and so would Belly.

"So we have to pretend like we know nothing?" I ask as Conrad nods his head on top of mine. "How do we do that?"

"As I said, why do you think I've been so distant?"
"I shouldn't have told you." He shakes his head standing up as he goes and sits on the bed and I stand up following him, standing in front of him.

"For eight months, you kept the biggest secret all to protect your mum and you're family, you need someone to talk too I get it." I smile down at him as he returns a small one.

"I was wrong about you Conrad." I say softly as his eyes glistening ever so slightly, for the first time this summer, his eyes looked warm.

"It's late we should head to bed." I look to the clock reading four am." Conrad nods his head leaning back into his bed as I grab my bag going to the toilets and getting changed.

I was so exited for bed, after a day like this it was all I needed. So Susanna had cancer, my second mother was going through the worst time of life, again. But I knew right now, all I could do was respect her wanting to keep it private and be there for Conrad.

I can't believe how mature Conrad was, keeping something like this for his mum. He wasn't conceited, or rude, or a horrible person. He had a mum dying of cancer. He was the bravest boy I know.

I head back outside as I hear Conrad snoring quietly as he lay on top of his bed. I tilt my head looking at him, I grab the spare blanket placing it over him in case he got cold. "I'm so sorry Conrad, for everything." I kiss the top of his head before getting into my own bed, finally falling asleep.

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