𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 (𝐂𝐅)

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐰𝐨- 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐮𝐬

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It was a week from the Deb ball, most of the past two weeks I spent either at Deb practice, with belly or swimming at night.

Me and Conrad still hadn't spoke. Every time we were in the room together it was like I was a ghost to him, something that was there but he talk to or see. It was hard at first, every time I looked at him my heart hurt, it still does now.

No one thought anything of it, if anything it was the normal as this is what we used to be like. Susanna was the only one who grew suspicious. She would ask questions like 'I thought you two were getting along, what happened?'

To which I never had an answer to. It was mine and Steven's birthday tomorrow, the last week at cousins. It always signified the end, but for once I had never wanted to go home more.

I swam around the pool doing laps, it was late at night. In fact it was only two hours till my birthday. Usually my birthday was the best part of cousins, having a family dinner and then going out with my friends. None of that mattered when I know the person I want to spend my birthday with couldn't even look at me.

Conrad had also been off with Jeremiah, they barely spoke but Jeremiah didn't let it faze him. If anything he's been in the best mood all summer. And it was because belly had broken up with Cam Cameron.

She did it a week ago, they went for a picnic and I think she finally realised what was standing in front of her, which was Jeremiah. They hadn't kissed or even talked to each other about they're feelings but they spend every moment together now. I was happy for both of them.

Me and Conrad could've been that, if it wasn't for my stupid mistake. I always wondered if it would be different if I just told Conrad first, would he have forgiven me, would he have seen it as a mistake?

I couldn't dwell on that thought, because it didn't make anything change, it just hurt me more. I get out the pool grabbing my towel and drying off my hair heading into the kitchen.

I jump a little as Conrad makes a sandwich in the dimly lit kitchen. He didn't even take one notice of me.

"Are you going to ever look at me again?" I snap at him but not even a twitch of his eyes or a turn of his head. "Me and Jeremiah happened long before I even knew I had proper feelings for you. I was scared, scared I was falling for someone who couldn't care less about me!" I shout, hoping to get some sort of reaction, anything to see if he cared, still nothing.

"God you drive me crazy Conrad! Just say something, anything!" I walk over to him making myself more visible to him.

"Connie please..." I grab his hands tightly he still wasn't looking at me but I could see his eyes growing soft, glistening with a layer of tears.

"Look at me." I take my hand lifting his chin up, his eyes meeting mine. "Just say what you have to say." I say softly as he looks away taking a breath as he takes his hands away from mine walking away to the door. I really thought he would but I guess I really had lost him.

"You slept with my brother." He turns around his voice tying to sound confident, but you could hear the hurt in his voice. "I know." I look to the floor.

"Why?" I look back up to him as he stands still.

"Why what?" I furrow my eyebrows as he walks over slowly. "Why did you sleep with my brother?" He says through gritted teeth.

"Because I knew I was in love with you, I just wasn't admitting it to myself and it was after the night we had that massive fight. Jeremiah was there, I wanted to hurt you."

"So let me get this right, you slept with my brother because you loved me? That's such a bullshit excuse." He scoffs going to walk away again.

"What do you want me to say? I have no romantic feelings towards Jeremiah, it was always you Conrad. I felt sick even thinking about it." I walk over to him, standing in front of him.

"You are my person." I put my hand to his heart as he drops his head. "I love you and I don't think I'll ever stop loving you." I move my body close to his, so much our forehead touched as I held my hand on his chest.

"Please if there's any part of you that still loves me, find it, and remind yourself of it, because we could get through this, you just have to trust me." I let tears roll down my cheeks. 

"I can't." He says through a shaky breath. I started to cry harder, my head now on his chest. I lift my head up meeting his eyes that glistened with tears.

"So we're over? Completely?" I didn't want him to answer the question, because I already knew the answer.

He looks to me, looking at my lips for a split second, I go on my tip toes kissing his lips quickly and softly, still feeling that same electricity. I stand normal as he looks away from me and starts walking to the door, stopping for a moment but not turning to me.

"I never loved you Ellie, I'm sorry but whatever this was, is over."

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