Daybreak Drabbles

Aaaqil and Elias: Any regrets?

"Do you have any regrets?" 

The calm boy looked at his bespectacled friend. "What do you mean?" 

"I mean... when you look at your life now, and think of a happier time from before, do you have any regrets to the choices you made?" Aaaqil would look down in an uncomfortable way. 

"In life, everyone will make choices they regret, unfortunately there's no way around it." Elias averted his eyes to the shy nerd. "What about you? How many choices have you regretted?" 

The boy couldn't meet his eye. It was hard to when all he could think about was what could've been. 

If he had the courage, maybe he could confess to Callum, maybe he could confront Yronica and make her see the error of her ways. 

He squeezed his eyes shut. This was hard to swallow. His heart pounded loudly in his ears. 

If he had more courage, maybe he could follow his dream to become a robotics master. 

Building was his greatest passion, and he yearned to be able to make that passion in a career. Unfortunately, his family believed it was better to be something that could actually pay, like a doctor or a lawyer. 

He had the grades to get a full scholarship at Lakeview High, a prestigious school all the way in America. His entire family migrated there so Aaaqil could attend said school, and he couldn't let them down. 

The first time he felt his dreams could come true was the interstate robotics competition, he and Taylor Dalton had won second place, but despite only being the first runner-up (as his family put it), he was smiling like an idiot for the whole day. He felt like that little dream of his could be real.

But it all came crashing down with a single conversation at dinner. 

"You should apply to be a houseman at Waterlane." His father had mentioned. 

"I'm sorry?" Aaaqil dropped the food in his hand. (Context: You can eat using your bare hand in Malaysia. Customary to use right hand, for using the left hand symbolizes eating with the devil.) 

"Yes, a houseman at Waterlane would be great! You could get high quality experience and according to the websites they pay well for housemen as well!" His mother added excitedly. 

Both his parents were able to visualize Aaaqil as a doctor, living a good life from the money he could earn. 

All Aaaqil saw was himself standing at the operating table, with Taylor, or Eman, heck maybe Callum as the patient. The blood, the gore, the stress...

He was terrified of that. 

How could he allow himself to carry the burden of rescuing someone's life? He wasn't good enough, and what if they died? He wouldn't be able to handle the heartbreak, the pain, of a family losing their loved one and he had to watch, or he accidentally caused to happen. 

He looked at his sister for advice or help, some sort of comfort that things would work out and he wouldn't have to walk down such a path. 

All she did was watch him, pity on her face and a sad smile to show him she was sorry. 

Aaaqil hugged himself. He didn't like that he was stuck in a position he couldn't escape from, and all because he had no courage to take a leap of faith. 

After all, being yourself comes with a heavy price. 

"Aaaqil." Elias' call brought him back to reality. He turned to look at the musician, who had worry etched on his face. 

"Ah... I'm sorry. I spaced out." He could only tell him that, which was honestly pathetic. He had no explanation, he couldn't explain to Elias how much fear and pain he felt from not being able to be himself, from not having the courage to chase his dreams or confess to someone he loves. 

"I have many regrets Aaaqil, but you aren't one of them." Aaaqil would look up, surprised, at the person who turned his life around through the power of music. 

Countless nights were spent under the stars as Elias sang Aaaqil his newest piece. Afternoons were spent at cafes, sipping at coffee and talking about how Elias could improve lyrics or Aaaqil tutoring Elias for an upcoming exam. Aaaqil found peace in being with his friend, and to be frank this musician was one of the things keeping his sanity when the world drowned his senses out.

"But why? I'm just a coward who can't even be himself... I mean sure I show you my authentic side but... No one else knows the person I really am!" He sniffled, his eyes stinging with hot tears ready to spill out like his overflowing frustrations.

"You brought out the true me." Elias smiled softly at him. "No one believed I could amount to anything. My parents divorced when I was little, and I grew up in a bad neighborhood. People predicted I would be a wreck, or a drunkard with anger issues and an abusive behavior. I'm neither of those thanks to you."

"But I don't understand?" Aaaqil would clench the hem of his shirt, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Remember the night you saw me sitting at the side of the road alone? A week after I met you? Well, I was contemplating if I should just walk to the middle of the road, or buy myself a bottle of liquor and drink myself stupid. You just had to come in and talk to me, and you even offered to help me with my problems. I needed someone who could help me out of my hell hole, and you were that person. If you weren't there that night, what would've happened to me? I don't want to know." He shuddered.

Aaaqil looked down, unsure how to respond. This was a lot to take in... Was he really that great?

"You're my good friend Aaaqil, I'm glad I met you." He smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Aaaqil looked away, hugging himself tighter, but he felt more at peace than he ever did in years.

"Thank you......"