Daybreak Drabbles

Surface Pressure

"Jun, I've been thinking..." Nathan walked into the open field, where survivors would gather for fun. He tilted his head, watching Jun playing football with Callum.

"Hm? What is it Nathan?" The Quarterback turned around, looking at his boyfriend.

"I was thinking... Are you okay? You look tense." Nathan frowned, walking over to them.

"What! I'm fine Nate. Nothing is wrong." Jun fidgeted a little, huffing.

"Are you sure? You're a little... Jittery."

Jun growled and made his stance wider to look intimidating. "I'm the strong one, I'm not nervous
I'm as tough as the crust of the Earth is."

"Uhm, alright?" Nathan was more confused avoid what Jun's point was. "I don't understand what this has to do with-"

"I move mountains, I move churches
And I glow, 'cause I know what my worth is."

"Okay?" Nathan crossed his arms, tilting his head to let Jun finish.

"I don't ask how hard the work is
Got a rough indestructible surface.
Diamonds and platinum, I find 'em, I flatten 'em."

Jun stood in front of Nathan, his chest puffed out and he looked very intimidating to some.

"I take what I'm handed, I break what's demanded, but-
Under the surface
I feel berserk as a tightrope walker in a three-ring circus!"

Nathan stopped his posture, looking at Jun a little concerned.

"Under the surface
Was Hercules ever like, "Yo, I don't wanna fight Cerberus?"
Under the surface
I'm pretty sure I'm worthless if I can't be of service-"

"What? Jun no you're not worthless-"

"A flaw or a crack
The straw in the stack
That breaks the camel's back
What breaks the camel's back?!" Jun held his head in terror.

"What?"

"It's
Pressure, like a drip, drip, drip that'll never stop, whoa
Pressure that'll tip, tip, tip 'til you just go pop, whoa, oh, oh!"

Jun thought back to all the times he told Eiji...

"Give it to your brother, your brother's older
I'll take all the heavy things that you can't shoulder!"

"Who am I if I can't run with the ball?"

Jun was terrified if he couldn't handle all the pressure he had them...

"If I fall to
Pressure like a grip, grip, grip, and it won't let go, whoa
Pressure like a tick, tick, tick 'til it's ready to blow, whoa, oh, oh!"

"Give it to your brother, your brother's stronger!" Jun always told Eiji this, so Eiji would never suffer from the weight of the world.

"I'll be hanging on for a little longer
Who am I if I can't carry it all?"

Jun gripped Nathan's shoulders, and Nathan watched him pitifully.

"If I falter...
Under the surface
I hide my nerves, and it worsens, I worry something is gonna hurt us!" Which wasn't even wrong, the killers... The car crash... Every day could be considered a threat to their lives.

"Under the surface
The ship doesn't swerve as it heard how big the iceberg is." It was all too big, out of control. Jun couldn't back down now, he had to face it head on.

"Under the surface
I think about my purpose, can I somehow preserve this?" Could he preserve the happy times in this hard moment? Could he protect Eiji's smile after seeing what the love of his brother's life had become?

"Line up the dominoes
A light wind blows
You try to stop it tumbling
But on and on it goes!"

"But wait, if I could shake the crushing weight of this anxiety
Would that free some room up for joy
Or relaxation, or simple pleasure?"

Jun longed for a break... Nathan knew this, he longed to be free of worries.

"Instead, we measure this growing pressure
Keeps growing, keep going
'Cause all we know is
Pressure like a drip, drip, drip that'll never stop, whoa
Pressure that'll tip, tip, tip 'til you just go pop, whoa-oh-oh-!"

Jun thought back to when Eiji was younger, and they had just lost their parents to the car crash.

"Give it to your brother, it doesn't hurt, and
I'll be here to handle every family burden!" He raised Eiji all alone after that, and handled everything himself, such as the living cost and jobs and emotion support.

"Watch as I buckle and bend but I'll never break
No mistakes, just-!"

Jun fell to his knees.

"Pressure like a grip, grip, grip, and it won't let go, whoa
Pressure like a tick, tick, tick 'til it's ready to blow, whoa, oh, oh
Give it to your brother, don't you ever wonder
If the same pressure would've pulled you under!
Who am I if I don't have what it takes?"

"No cracks, no breaks
No mistakes, no pressure!" Jun stood up, looking at Nathan in the eye. "No mistakes, no pressure- Oomph!"

Nathan pulled Jun into a tight hug, watching the man hug back as he buried his face in the bodyguard's shoulder.

"You carry way too much for a single person." Nathan stroked his head. "You deserve to rest."

"I can't, I have to take care of Eiji." He protested, whining a little bit.

"He's not a little kid anymore Jun, he can take care of himself now. I've seen him do it, and it's time you see what Eiji can really do."

Jun sighed looked down, whimpering softly. "I..."

"You're Tough Jun, but you gotta take a backseat sometimes before you block out."

"I... uhm... Okay. I'll try." He nodded, watching Nathan go somewhere else.