The Method To My Madness

Sleep

Dear Reader,

Obviously everyone sleeps, unless you're a vampire and glitter in the sunlight like a majestic unicorn. Then you probably just watch over girls that never use facial expressions as they sleep because that's normal. For a vampire to watch people sleep that is. I mean if you're a human and you do that well I'm sorry but law enforcement is probably on their way to get you. Now that we've gotten that out of the way let's get down to business. Sleep is a fundamental part of sanity which it stands to reason that if that statement is true then I obviously don't get enough sleep which is true.

I don't think I've ever met another person that loves sleep as much as I do. If I could I would sleep all the time but I physically can't. I mean sleep and I have had a very volatile relationship. Literally. I have this really cute habit of randomly waking myself up by my own screaming. When this happens I never remember what I'm dreaming of but whatever. And speaking of dreams! Am I the only person that has ever dreamt of going into the light and instead of being in heaven you land yourself in school? Probably. I mean I obviously did something to piss the big man upstairs off for him to send me back to school when I entered the light.

Sleep is a strange thing. I mean I wish when I was sleeping I was a normal person. But I wouldn't be me if I wasn't a freak 24/7, now would I? I've always had this amazing talent of being even more strange as I sleep. I know this because my family and friends like to capture my awesome on tape as I sleep. Creepy I know. My grandparents have a several pictures of a 4 year old me sleeping face down ass up on a kitchen chair. I couldn't even begin to explain that one if I wanted to. My father has a video of me at the age of 12 singing Queen in my sleep. I mean I was going hard on Bohemian Rhapsody and I'm surprised I could speak let alone sing in my sleep because I had just gotten home from an all day chior competition and then a trip to a waterpark. I had completely lost my voice by the time I had gotten home yet there I was rocking out in my sleep. Words escape me for that one. My best friend has a picture from a few months ago that has a permanent home on facebook of me sleeping with both fists above my head like I'm hanging from something. I mean I have a death grip on the air in my sleep.

But please don't feel bad for me when I'm sleeping sure people poke fun but oh the joy of how I get them back when I'm sleeping. Now this next story is going to make me look like a horrible person but before I go any further let the record show I do feel sorry. A few summers back my father decided it would be funny to send my younger brother up to wake me. Poor kid never saw it coming but my dad did that's why he sent in the kid. My brother comes over and gently shakes me up and says wake up sissy. I guess it scared me because the next thing I remember is sucker punching my brother in the gut and screaming hiya. To this day I feel awful. Every single time that gets brought up my brother laughs because he finds it funny I however get this guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach.

People know not to bother me when I sleep. To this day I get myself up or if I'm at my dad's he does but from a distance. He does this because last month he thought it would be hilarious to wake me up with the fucking "I'm not touching you" game..... I almost broke his finger but in my defense at that particular moment I was pmsing.

So in short sleep is a beautiful thing, cherish it kids.