The Method To My Madness

Awkward Moments

Dear Readers? Reader? I have no clue how many people actually read my crap,

But none the less, hi ya! We've all had awkward moments. I mean I know I've had many as well as witnessed many. I can't tell you how many times I wished I could just go back 5 seconds in time before I made a stupid decision that ended in personal mortification. Kinda like the time I was running late for school.

Let me just paint the full picture for you. It was a humid spring morning. The sun had yet to rise and a young girl had over slept by about 20 crucial minutes. As she awoke and looked at the clock next to her, she realized what a grave mistake she had made by staying up those 2 extra hours the night before craming for her greek mythology test in English. Which okay looking back on it, what kind of a crack-pot English teacher tests kids on Greek Mythology? I mean I could understand a World Studies teacher but English? Especially in the situation that they had just been reading The Outsiders the week before. Which is a great book by the way, now back to the story at hand my friends.

As she stumbled around her dark cramped bedroom in the hell hole apartment her mom had been forced to move them into due the recent divorce, she forgot a key piece of clothing. One that she was about to regret forgetting in less than 5 minutes. As she rushed out of her room and to the kitchen about a step away she quickly grabbed her backpack from the kitchen table and an apple for breakfast. She then rushed out the door. Only to bump into the cute older boy from the apartment across the way. I'm sorry not bumped but more like blindly tackled. As she mumbled her apologies and good morning she noticed he was staring at her with the most adorable laughter dancing in his eyes. She held her breathe as he said to her, "Are you a little cold babe?". In complete confusion she gave him a questioning look. He simply smiled his uneven grin and dramatically looked at her legs. An in that moment the smallest hint of a breeze blew by.

It was then that I had realized I had forgotten to put my pants on, I literally no jeans on people. My hot older neighbor saw me with my hair a mess, shirt hanging off my shoulder, and my pale milky white legs without pants. To make matters worse I was wearing my cartoon panda underpants my Grandma had sent me for Christmas because it was laundry day. How does one live through that? How was I to live that down? I wasn't. I simply acted as though I had meant to forget my pants. I lifted my head and said, "Well if you must know! I have decided to protest against the injustices of skinny jeans." I then looked at his pants shook my head and continued to speak with the confidence I had pulled straight out of my non-jean covered ass,"Now if you will excuse me, I have to get a new apple seeing as my breakfast has been smashed by the skateboard you dropped." I then went back into my apartment, got a new apple, put pants on, and went to school without him seeing me. Sadly that was the first but not the last time I forgot my pants. Society, I apologise.

Oh or there was the time I decided to "drop it like it's hot" in the middle of the choir room during intermission of the big pop show. Meaning all 106 girls saw me rip my jeans from the base of the zipper all the way down to just barely under my kneecap. Oh yeah. It happened. Even the teacher saw. She couldn't prevent herself from laughing.

And then there was the time I was changing in the backseat of my mom's car. I was switching from my cropped sweat pants to jeans and in a freak accident I mooned my friend's mom. Yup. So smooth.

Oh! Haha or there was the time I was going down the stairs and I reached out to grab the hand rail and a guy came out of know where running up the stairs the wrong way. Well lets just say I grabbed the wrong kind of rail. He and I locked eyes and I ran down the stairs. Forgot my friends. Next thing I know I hear my name being called out. So I turned but in my clumsy state fell backwards on my ass just as the basketball team came jogging at me. I'm eye level with these guys "rails" so I'm stuck on my ass screaming "Oh God they're everywhere".

So yeah I have had way too many awkward and embarrassing moments. Haven't you?