The Method To My Madness

Puzzle Pieces

I want to grow up. I tend to act like I'm mature and have it all figured out but I don't. More and more I feel like I am one of those sad jigsaw puzzles. You know the ones I'm talking about. It is the kind that has 5000 little pieces and you can't finish it because random pieces are missing....

When I was younger and much smaller I believed in giants and dragons, I dreamed of dancing with fairies in the dandelions,  my backyard was my kingdom,  I was afraid of the monsters under my bed.... Puzzles were just a way to pass the time while music was just something to fill the air. But most of all, most of all, I couldn't wait to grow up. I had visions of what it would be like to be a "grown up" and what kind of person I would be. When you're little you see the world in the most beautiful and inoccent of lights, you see it for what it could be.

Now that I'm older I see the world for what it is. I know now that dragons and giants don't exist and the fairies I once danced with blew away in the winds of yesteryears; much like the dandelions. I lost my kingdom, it is no longer mine to have. I understand that monsters are real and they live inside of us, not under our beds. I've realized that I myself am a jigsaw puzzle, I am that unfinished puzzle missing several pieces that sits buried beneath the clutter of society. I often wish I could go back to when when my biggest worry was if my mom had remembered to buy my blue's clues applesauce at the store. Yup, I was one of those 90's kids.

When I was small the world wasn't big and scary but now that I am big the world is no longer small and inviting. Surprisingly, I am not who I thought I would be. I'm sarcastic, slightly cynical, and I have a very dark sense of humor. Yet despite all of the bad things I have learned about myself and the world around me I am not so scared any more.