The Method To My Madness

Parents

Dear Reader,

Parents are weird. Or maybe it's just mine that are strange. Hmmmm that could explain a lot about me.

Let me explain my statement. My mom is like a best friend to me but sometimes she shares a little too much. Like when she was in high school she almost got kicked off a marching band trip to Canada for sneaking out with her friends and getting drunk.... I didn't need to know that. It actually makes me look like a dweeb really, because I have never once gone to a party or bar or club or anything like that. I've gotten drunk but that was because someone spiked the punch at my homecoming dance. Oh yeah I am cool. My mom was in the popular crowd, a cheerleader, class officer, in the band and played 4 different instruments, was always on the honor roll, I could go on and on. Thanks mom for giving me such a high standard to meet. But in all honesty I'm pretty lucky to have her as my mom because she's amazing.

My dad on the other hand..... We have never really been close at least not until recent years. My parents are divorced and for a while I refused to go see him. I was going through a rough patch I guess. Anyways I look a lot like him and definitely have his sarcasm. I can't tell you how many times I've said something and my mom look at me with shock. I don't think before I speak sometimes and my dad finds it hilarious.

I can't take him out in public because if he sees a person that is dressed in tiny pieces of cloth letting everything hang out he never hesitates to point and yell rather loudly "Oh look! It's a hooker." Because of him we almost got kicked out of a Costco. Luckily my Papa was with us. The solution was my grandfather smacking my father in the back of the head and telling him to pipe down. If you have never seen your grandparents disciplining your parents like they were still 10 years old you're definitely missing out. I guess what I'm saying is every outing we have is a different experience.  

For instance, we recently went to the mall and my father sees this guy and I could tell which person he was looking at by the "what in the wide, wide world of sports" look he got in his eyes. This guy was in his late 20s early 30s and had baggy jeans on that were worn and ripped at the back of his feet from stepping on them so often with his wannabe biker boots. He was also wearing a shirt with the sleeves ripped off. And okay, you know those bad ass jean vests with all those awesome band patches on it? Yea.... He didn't do it justice. He looked like a tool especially with his wallet chain that hung below his knee cap. I can't even. So back to my dad, I turn to him and say "Are you seeing this?" To which his response was,"You know, I don't think I ever or COULD ever have walked around dressed like that and think I am the ultimate shit.... But he clearly does." I couldn't help but to wonder what kind of life that guy leads.

Once again I have no idea were this was going. So I'm not sure why you are reading this or quite why I wrote it. Maybe tomorrow I'll have something clever to tell you but knowing me it will most likely be another story about me tripping on air and face planting in front of a group of hot guys.