What if

What now?

Jakes POV

I slammed the door and collapsed on the couch. I covered my face with my hands, I felt like I was going crazy. I was about to slam my fist into the wall when I heard a knock on the door. Who the hell? I walked over to the door and yanked it open. There stood a panting and messed up Holly. I stood there, had she really followed me hear? Her hair was a mess and her hoodie was hanging off her shoulder. Was this for real? she looked down at her shoes as if she was not sure why she was hear.

"Holly?"

She looked up nervously then took a deep breathe.

"can I come in?"

I hesitated then nodded and stood back. She stepped inside still looking down at her shoes,

"why are you hear?"

She looked lost, like she was wondering the same thing. She raised her beautiful blue eyes to meet mine.

"can we talk?"

 I nodded, she slowly made her way over to the couch and sat down.

 "what did you see?"

 Her question threw me off, what did I see? I saw the only girl who I had ever really liked, hell the only girl I LOVED making out with another guy.

 "You and Shawn"

  I managed softly, she surprised me, she gently took my hand, I looked at her,

 " why is that bad?"

  I gaped at her, what would I take? She was impossible!

  " Because I love you, more then you will ever know, and even though you will never see that, I do and always will."

 She stared at me. I rambled on determined to tell her everything before it was too late.

 " I know I'm not the one who is making you smile or laugh anymore. And it kills me to see someone other than me making you happy. But you need to know, that no matter who you are with, I will wait for you Holly, and I will never stop fighting for you."

 I dropped her hand and turned to face the wall, I was breathing hard and my throat was tight. I expected her to leave or yell at me or something. After a minute I heard a small sniff, I turned back around and saw Holly sitting on the couch where I had left her. She was curled up in ball tears pouring diwn her cheeks. I slowly moved over to her. Sitting down across from her I gently lifted her chin with my hand.

 "Holly?"

 I spoke softly

" Why don't you see this?"

 She looked up at me her eyes pleading.

 "because.... I love you to much to be the one to lose you."

..............

Holly's POV

"Because.... I love you to much to the one to lose you."

The words fell from my mouth before I could stop them. My eyes widened at what I just said. Before I knew what I was doing I was out the door walking back to my house.

"HOLLY!"

Jake yelled after me, I began to run, I heard him following me. I turned into the woods hoping that I would lose him.

"HOLLY WAIT!"

 I kept running the sudden rush of adrenaline was fading and my lungs were starting to burn. I tripped over a root and tumbled to the ground. I curled up in a ball against the trunk of the tree and buried my face in my arms. Fuck why was it always me? I heard Jakes footsteps coming closer, I shrank into the tree. Through the gap in my arms I saw a pair of convers in front of me. I did not want to look up, I would not let myself look up and meet his beautiful eyes that always sucked me in and held me captive. I felt a hand stroking my hair,

"Holly, please look at me!"

Jake begged, his voice full of pain and sadness. Slowing I raised my head to look at him. He knelt down in front of me and reached out to tuck stray strands of hair behind my ear, I shrank back at his touch. Hus head dropped and he sighed.

"Holly... I can't do this anymore."

I looked at him,

"do what?"

"watch you fall in love with someone else when all I will ever do is fall in love with you over and over again."

I dropped my gaze from his face.

"why?"

I hated the look of sadness on his face. After all he had put me through why should there be any reason for me to forgive him? He cheated on me and broke my heart. But the way he kept insisting how he loved me and would never do anything to hurt me stung in the back of my mind. Then Shawn floated back into my mind. God.

"Holly?"

I stood up and faced him.

" I don't know what to think Jake. And I have Shawn to think about now. Maybe in the future, but not in the present."

With that I began to walk away, but then I turned around and half smiled.

"friends?"

He looked at me and smiled

"friends."

.............

Jakes POV

"friends."

I smiled at her then I hugged her, she looked surprised but smiled back at me.

We ended up walking back together, talking with her felt nice, we had not talked in what seemed like a lifetime. I told her about how I nearly broke my arm recently at the gym. She laughed, god I had missed her laugh. It was beautiful, it sounded like a bunch of bells . Okay call me cheesy but its true. We got to her house and she waved goodbye and disappeared. I walked home, stepping in the door I walked up to my room and changed into sweats and a tee. Walking back to the kitchen I made myself pasta and let Holly invade my thoughts. Friends. It was definitely a start. I grabbed a jar of sauce from the fridge and poured it into a bowl and placed it in the microwave. The doorbell rang. I looked up confused I opened it and Holly stepped in.

"i left my phone..."

I burst out laughing at the look on her face like she had left her baby at my house. I stepped back to let her in. She sniffed as she walked over to the couch to retrieve her phone, she walked over to me and sank down onto one of the kitchen chairs.

"Is that pasta?"

I nodded and removed the sauce from the microwave,

"care for some?"

She nodded eagerly, so I took out two bowls and served us each pasta and tomato sauce, I sat down across from her,

"so you going to tell me why you look like you just came back from the dead?"

I laughed no way was I going to tell her that she was the cause of my lack of sleep. Then I decided to ask her about Shawn.

"I just have not had much sleep, so Shawn huh?"

She looked up from her food,

"well yeah, to be honest I was not expecting him to kiss me...."

I looked at her,

"your not together?"

Holly stared at her bowl and swirled her fork around thinking, she raised her eyes to mine and said

" I have no idea"

............

A/N

Gaaaa I made this really long!! I had no idea where to end this!! lol thanks for sticking with me beauties!! Lol I LOVE YOU SO FREAKING MUCH!! words cannot describe my love for y'all!

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and remember to stay gorgeous!!

:>

-Hannah <3