Hot Coco Kisses

Pizza Party

-Content Warning-

Shortly after the team had left you took a moment to look around and see what needed to be done before making any effort in cleaning the house.
You spotted a few things that were out of order but it would only take a few minutes to do so you decided on completing the simple tasks before starting on the dough for the pizza crust.
The cleaning only took about an hour and a half before you went upstairs to check the guest rooms and make all the beds. Going through each seeing that the first rooms bed was perfectly made telling you that Steve and Sam had shared this room before moving to the next seeing a slightly made bed that Natasha and Bruce had shared obviously making the bed in a rush then finally the room that Clint, Tony and Peter had shared with the a double bed and a pull out double bed.
The pull out had its covers thrown over in a messy but made in a unique way, thinking that the pull out bed must've been where Clint slept. Then the other two were an absolute mess and you could tell that's where Peter and Tony had slept the night before. You took your time making the beds knowing you wouldn't have much left to do after this chore was done.
Lastly you made it to yours and Bucky's bedroom and placed the pillows back on the bed since Bucky had already made the bed either before he came down or when he changed into his tactical suit this morning. As you leaned down to pick up the last pillow you stopped momentarily seeing the side of your body in your massive full length mirror that hung on the wall, just looking at you figure slowly drawing a hand up to rest on your lower stomach and your mind began to wander thinking about how you'd look further to term in pregnancy. Slowly you traced little shapes on your satin covered stomach getting lost in a daydream of how Bucky and Peter would act with the nonexistent baby in your womb and at that moment you knew that what you had said last night about waiting felt like a lie an excuse out of fear of losing another baby.

Your gaze slowly lifted looking over to the open bathroom door seeing your birth control pills still on the counter almost as a way of taunting you saying "Look over here! I'm here." over and over. You gave a huff marching over and yanking the box of pills off the counter looking at the box in annoyance before throwing it in the garbage can. You then went to look for a piece of paper and a pen to write out your thoughts to tell Bucky just how you felt and that you wanted to try sooner rather than later.

" Dear James,

I've decided to go off of my birth control. I know we talked about trying after the wedding but having a moment alone really got me thinking about our discussion last night. I think I want to try again, I think I was using our wedding as an excuse to not try again because I'm afraid. The constant  "what if's?" run rampant in my mind  What if I lose the baby again? What if I'm a horrible mother? What if I can't get pregnant again? I know they're all rather silly thoughts but the fear continues to loom over me like a constant dark cloud over my head.
But I'm ready now and I threw my pills in the garbage bin instead of flushing them in case you aren't comfortable with this sudden epiphany from me.

Love always,
Y/N "

You read the letter through once more before giving yourself a light nod of your head deeming the note acceptable for him to read. Carefully you placed the note on his pillow so he would be able to see it as soon as he came home and changed out of his tactical suit.
You stayed in your room for a while longer before going back downstairs to make the pizza dough taking note of the time and how long it would take to make everything from scratch.
Gathering all the ingredients didn't take long to find and set up on the counter of the island.

While making the dough you heard a light knock and thought that maybe the team's mission took less time than originally intended. Thinking nothing of it you continued with your task at hand with finishing dinner, yet again a soft knock was heard.
Again you shrugged it off this time thinking maybe one of the neighborhood kids were playing a version of ding dong ditch again assuming no one lived in the home anymore.
"Hello?" You called trying to let them know that someone was indeed inside the home.
When you heard no answer or knocking you continued to pour the pizza dough out onto the floured counter top.