Broken 💔

Chapter 8

"When you break you only get better nandini, think of glow sticks, when you want them to glow you break them right. It is important to break sometimes" he said

"A glow stick only breaks once, i am already broken into a billion pieces. I cannot glow or be put together. The more you try the weaker I get" I mummbled

"I don't know you nandini, we have met what like a few weeks ago but let me tell you something. I was a player, I fucked a bunch of girls, I have kissed more. Girls never say no to me, and I don't admire or get attached to people this quickly but then you came. You might think it's because cabir called you his sister well that's part of it because I noticed you but he has no role in my feelings. I feel this familiarity with you. The first time you cried in front of me I felt this pain in my chest. Alia and Mukti have been my friends for a very long time but I have never cared for them like I care for you. No one is forcing my feelings, they are real. You wanted me to ignore you and when I do that you call me, you see me how is that fair nandini" he asked

His feelings are valid but I don't know how to explain that I am not gonna be here with him forever.

"I see you Manik, you could be in a crowd and I would still see you without it being difficult becasue I don't need to look around to find you. It is not fair and I know that"

"Then please let me in. You don't have to share anything with me but let me be there in your life please"

"What do you want out of this Manik" I asked

"I want us" he said and I froze

"I want you and I to be together forever, I want you around me always" he said

"I can't be your forever Manik" I said and I could see the sadness in his eyes

"Why not? I know I was a player and I know that alia was jsut sitting on my lap but I dont feel anything for her I promise nandini" he rambled

"No no Manik it's not that"

"Then what is it"

"You think you wanna be with me but I promise you that after you know about my past about some things you will not want to me with me or even around me" I said

"You don't want to be with me thats okay but do not give me excuses about your past. I don't give a shit about what your past had" he said and I chuckled dryly

"Sure!! You say that now but you won't once you know" I said

"Try me Nandini" he said with a smile

"How about we take it one step at a time" he said and I looked at him being confused

"Give me these 5 days nandini" he said

"Im not getting you" I said

"We have these 5 days of our trip, spend every second with me. By the end of this trip if you feel comfortable tell me about your past, tell me why you can't be with me and if I think that you aren't fighting your feelings for me and being honest I will not say a single thing"

"Why do you even want me Manik, there are so many other girls who love you and want to be with you" I said

"I don't just want you nandini I need you and those girls are arm candy, I want a girl who can proudly stand beside me not run behind me" his answer took my heart

"Manik this seems all fun and games but my life is complicated umm it's not all rainbows and sunshine". He smiled hearing me like that's exactly what he wanted to hear

"I don't want rainbows and sunshine, I want a storm, thunder because every time there is a storm, the next day the sun shines brighter so show us that hey you got through it" he said

"Its easy to say manik but it's hard to be with someone who has issues"

"Nandini all I'm hearing are reasons why you think I shouldn't be with you but you fail to realize that all these reasons you are listing out are only making me want you more. Nandini no one in this world acmes without flaws and sure you may have a few but I have a bunch too. Just please give me a chance, give me these 5 days with you and if you still don't want me by the end of these 5 days then I will not come near you at all" he said and I sighed

He isn't wrong, I do have flaws, a shit ton of them but my flaws aren't normal.

I do want him, I really do but I stop every time and these feelings I have for him are overwhelming, his arms make me feel safe.

For this one time in my life, I am going to do something for me without thinking about my past, or my future.

"Manik" I whispered and he smiled at me slightly with hope in his eyes

"You don't need 5 days, you don't even need a single day because I was never doubting your care for me or the fact that you want me. I was and am fighting myself because I cannot hurt you. I have never had a chance to take a decision but I do wanna take this one. I want you too manik, I feel safe with you but my past"

"I will stand by you whether it's your past, present or future Nandini"

"Will you please take everything slow, I can't umm I"

"Slower than eveyrhting, we go one step at a time. No official labels yet but we are exclusive" he said

'Exclusive" I asked not knowing his definition

"We are only seeing each other"

"Understood" I said and he smiled

"Lets start with being friends?" He asked and I nodded

"Friends" I asked and he nodded

I can't believe this, I am in my first relationship that too with a man who wants me honestly.

"Thank you" he said and I smiled

"Thank you for sticking with me and not walking away" I said and he chuckled

"Oh I couldn't walk away even if I wanted to nandini, you mean a lot to me"

I stayed quiet because I was overwhelmed with how much I mean to him

"It's late you should sleep" he said and I nodded

"Umm take the bed, ill take the couch" he said and I shook my head

"Criss cross" I said and he looked confused so I chucked that idea

"New idea, I don't take the much space so you can sleep beside me"

"You sure? I don't wanna make you uncomfortable"

"I trust you, I told you that didn't I so it's okay" I said

I climbed in bed and he laid down beside me, we had different blankets which is why I agreed to this.

"Do you think you and I can be together in a forever way, I know it's asking too much, it's a lot I know but I just"

"Relax, I wish I could jsut say yes simply but I will tell you this, I would want that"

'Then what's stopping you" he asked turning to face me while I did the same

"Just a few things that happened in the past"

"I know that I Can't do anything right now to show you that you are special for me but I will continue to show you every single day"

I smiled reaching out for his hand with shivering hands

"I've got you baby" he whispered grabbing my hand in his

I wasn't scared when he was holding my hand, instead I was at peace almost like this is where I belonged.

My whole life I had searched for belongingness and today it seems like I have it but I hope I can stay strong and not give up on myself or us.

"Goodnight baby" was the last thing I heard before I fell into a peaceful slumber.