Changed

Confused.

The same night...

Leah's POV:

I walked back into my room after parting ways with Beth, to an empty room. I began to wonder where Alessia was, until I heard her and Ella screaming together through the wall. I got lost in my thoughts about what Beth had said to me, about whether i really did like Alessia, or whether I just cared about her because she was so young. Love was so confusing to me; and let me tell you why.

Jordan and I were together for a year, until i came home to our shared apartment to a letter from her, explaining that she couldn't do this anymore. Not because either of us had done anything wrong, she had just fell out of love with me. I think that was the hardest part - I wanted to hate her, but i couldn't, so it took me longer to get over the idea of being with her. She changed my perception of love completely. I can't trust anyone to love me anymore, and definitely can't trust myself to make someone happy. Thats why I began to push football more than ever. Jordan was out injured, so her not being at training and having less minutes on the pitch definitely made it easier. Of course, she was my first love so seeing her at the camp hurt a little, but I knew it was best that we weren't together. She is also rumoured to be dating a girl called Ellie from her hometown that she grew up with, but in all honesty, I don't even want to know. I was soon snapped out of my thoughts as the young Alessia barged into my room unexpectedly.

Alessia: "Beth kicked me out because she wanted a shower. I was fucking winning as well" she exclaimed, throwing herself on the bed next to me, before looking at me. "Hey, are you okay?"

Leah: "Yeah, yeah I was just thinking, don't worry Alessia. Have fun at training today?"

Alessia: "Yeah it was amazing, thank you. But you know you can speak to me? I may be younger than you, but i do have my head screwed on...I think" she giggled, before pulling me into a hug.

I melted into the hug before pulling away and smiling at her. "It's just about Jords, it's weird seeing her here. But it doesn't matter" i quickly said. "I know I'm onto bigger and better things now, and I don't miss her, it's just weird seeing her around after so long, you get me?" i said.

Alessia: "I know what you mean. My ex-boyfriend lived right across the road from me, so seeing him with his new girlfriend every night absolutely broke me. But in time, it didn't matter anymore. I know you're going to find someone Leah, don't even worry. The focus is on the game for me and you right now" she smiled at me reassuringly.

Alessia had just said the sweetest words to me which were very factual, but I couldn't help but think about the fact she was talking about an ex-BOYFRIEND. Was she gay? Was she bi? I know she's clearly single, but I needed to know before i broke my own damn heart again. I couldn't be bothered to let my slight soft spot ruin our night, so i just smiled at her and thanked her.

Leah: "You want to head down to dinner? I'm getting hungry, and I don't think a ham sandwich will cut it" I laughed, to which Alessia nodded and smiled, standing up and leading me out of the room.

After dinner, I was beyond knackered as was everyone else. We all headed to bed about 10pm, and before i knew it i was laying comfortably in my bed.

Alessia: "Do you want to watch something on Netflix before we go to sleep? I need to catch up on what's been added. Netflix used to be my life, but i suppose I'm too busy for it now" she giggled.

Leah: "For sure, what do you want to watch?" i asked Alessia. She grabbed the TV remote, before putting on a Netflix documentary about Jeffrey Dahmer. "Right Alessia, this wasn't what i completely had in mind" i raised my eyebrow as I saw the piles of bones in front of me on the screen.

We laid there for a while in silence, taking in everything in the series, before Alessia spoke.

Alessia: "Don't you think it's really said what people who are part of the LGBTQ+ community go through? Imagine being lured because your gay and murdered" she sighed, before turning to me.

Leah: "Yeah, I can't lie I've had people call me most names under the sun at this point. But i love who I love, and I love boobs" I laughed, before turning back to Alessia. She was so beautiful.

Alessia: "I'm lucky I don't have to worry about anything like that i suppose" she said, before laying back and pulling the duvet closer to her face,

Leah: "Yeah, right. You're lucky." I said, sort of pissed. I turned over, stared at the wall for a while before turning off my light. I suppose Alessia took the hint, she turned off the TV and rolled over too.

Alessia: "Goodnight Leah" she said, but I was too deep in my own thoughts on how I'd managed to fall for a literal straight girl on the second day of knowing her. I huffed slightly, and before I knew it, I was asleep.

Alessia's POV:

I laid there until about 2am, listening to the sounds of Leah breathing heavily in her sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that I was straight clearly annoyed Leah so much. Maybe Ella was right... Maybe she does have a soft spot for me. In all honesty, I'd never even considered that I was possibly bisexual or even gay until this very moment. I kind of felt pissed that I was straight. I had a beautiful girl falling at my feet, but part of me was confused whether I had just found comfort in her since being here, or whether I liked her too. I suppose whatever happens, happens but the thought of dating a girl is kind of scary for me. I see the abuse my teammates receive, as well as other people all over the world. At the end of the day, you can't help who you love.

I began to feel a wave of emotion hit me. I wanted my mum. I wanted to tell her everything I was feeling, and how I managed to feel so lost, confused and empty all at once so quickly. A single tear slipped down my cheek, and I sniffed quietly in hope that Leah didn't hear me. Did I just feel guilty, or did I feel something else? I sat up and went into the bathroom. I started at myself in the mirror and was lost in deep thought before I heard footsteps towards the door.

Leah: "What are you doing up Alessia? You should be asleep." she said to me in a concerned tone. I tried to hide my face from her and turned away, but she walked up to me and spun me around to look at her. "What the fuck? Why are you crying Alessia?" she said, holding my upper arms.

Alessia: "I just miss my family, Leah. That's all" I said, walking out the bathroom and back into bed. Leah walked up to me, kissed my forehead and told me we'd speak in the morning. "You have me Alessia, always. I'm your family now, you can tell me everything. We're all so proud of you." she smiled, before getting back into bed. Tomorrow, we had Media Day, where we did interviews and took pictures for the Lionesses website. I needed to look my best without bags under my eyes. The reassurance from Leah helped me to sleep, and soon enough I was in a deep slumber.

AUTHORS NOTE:

Thankyou everyone for reading! Again, please let me know what you think of the story and tell me anything you'd like to see. Don't forget to vote for this story!

Mwah!