The first step was to apologise. Was to admit that your cruel comments were wrong. Which was why, upon calming down, Zenon and you had set off in the middle of the night to go to the Black Bulls hideout. You hadn't spoke to Zenon much; you weren't one to share your feelings; cold or not. Zenon was understanding, not pushing you. The ride there was quiet and peaceful. The night sky was littered with small stars that stretched in groups across the empty and seemingly empty space. It was clear, not at all cloudy. You were in awe, like you were seeing it for the first time. No; you'd seen it countless times before- but you never bothered to acknowledge the beauty of it. It was irrelevant in the face of everything.
You landed outside of the base, and for the first time in years, you felt your nerves play up for a moment, your muscles tensing. Did you really want to do this? After everything that's happened, wouldn't they simply hate you? No, you had to do this. There was no way for you to move forward and be the person your brother would have wanted you to be if you didn't. Zenon looked to you, "take your time, Captain. We're not in a rush" You breathed a sigh, "let's go." Zenon nodded, opening the door to the base, calling out, "hey guys!" The Black Bulls looked at Zenon defeated; he knew it was about you.
You entered the base behind Zenon, seeing all the Black Bulls still awake and sitting together in silence. It was unusual. You'd know Yami since you were a child, he did nothing but sleep. "Shouldn't you all be in bed? It's late, you know." You hadn't meant for it to come out in a cold and monotonous voice. "(Y/N)... you're here?" Asta gaped at your sudden appearance, even moreso confused by your words. "Calm, remember?" Zenon reminded you kindly; you nodded. All of the Black Bulls perked up at his words, unsure of what was going on. You hadn't glared at Zenon for his words which they found frighteningly unusual. What was going on? Where you still angry at them? Had you come to rip into them again?
Finral couldn't find his voice to speak up; he was too nervous as to how you might react or what you might say. Not to mention he was already off form the events that had transpired over the last thirty-six hours. "How can we help you? Do you need something?" Vanessa questioned, speaking up in the place of where Finral normally would. For a moment, you considered backing out. You probably should, right? No, you had to do this. You realised how much you had put them down since you had been back, how much you had insulted them, your aggression towards them. All this time, you had hurt them without even realising how badly. You knew that now.
"We came here because I needed to speak with all of you." Your voice was calmer this time, it wasn't aggressive. You could see a few of their eyes widen; Finral, Zora, Grey, Vanessa, Noelle. "Well what is it? You know we're always here. We're always happy to listen too." You looked to Asta. His face showed nothing but the truth. Asta never had lied to you, you just chose to ignore that. The look on his face in this moment though, was serious, unwavering, honest. They'd always been willing to listen, you'd just been unwilling to talk. How had you missed it? You figured it was because you weren't looking for it. It didn't matter to you. Nothing did after Morgen died. "I mean it, (Y/N). You can tell us anything." Asta smile at you, the others nodding along with his statement.
Your shoulders relaxed; you averted your eyes from the Black Bulls. "I came here because- I wanted to say... I'm sorry." "Ehhhhh?!" All the Black Bulls were in shock at your words. They were the last person they expected to hear that from. You were sorry? Who were you and what had you done with the real you? "I'm sorry for the way I've treated you. I'm sorry for always putting you down and disregarding you. I'm sorry for insulting you. I'm sorry for everything." They all shared wide eyes, completely confused about the situation before them. Despite their shock, they knew you weren't lying. It was as though they were meeting you for the first time all over again- but you were different.
They could see it in your eyes, hear it in your voice, explained by your actions. You weren't hiding. Maybe now you'd let them welcome you back; they all hoped. You knew, it would take time to change all the things your uncaring words had brought them. That's what you thought at least. The Black Bulls were never going to hold something like that against you. No matter how many times you try to push them away, they'll come charging back more determined than before. They would never just abandon you. You always assumed the worst of everyone, with your track record, it was no surprise. But they needed you to know they weren't going to leave you.
The room was filled with an agonising silence. You kept your eyes off of them, your hands down by your side; your cloak open at the front for once. You dared not to say a word, nor did they. Zenon, being the only one, stood off to the side with a small smile watching as the events unfolded before him. You misunderstood their silence as an unforgiving and malicious response. Malicious was the immediate response you had gotten used to feeling so it was understandable you felt that way. "I know it will take a lot of work, and a long time, but I hope one day... you might be able to forgive me..."
As soon as that last word fell from your lips, you were unexpectedly bombarded by a wave of hugs. Asta, Noelle, Charmy. Finral, Vanessa, Gordon. Grey, Magna, Luck. As well as reluctant Zora, Secre, and Gauche. "Are you kidding? We were never mad!" Asta beamed up at you; he had hugged around your torso. Noelle nodded in agreement, "right." "We're just so glad your back!" Finral had tears in his eyes. Why? "You should know us better than that by now, kiddo." Vanessa rolled her eyes, winking at you. "You're an idiot." Zora shook his head at you. "Please? Mad at you? For what?" Magna scoffed, Luck following closely, "yeah! For what? Your encouragement?" Encouragement? What was he talking about? "E-Every t-time you would shout at us-us, w-we wanted to get better!" Grey squeaked out. Did she really mean that? Why? "Uh-huh!" Charmy and Gordon hummed, nodding. They all felt this way? "None of us hate you, got it?" Gauche looked you dead in the eyes. "Indeed. Everyone wanted to get better as to be strong in the eyes of their comrade. Their friend." Secre added on, finishing.
Why were they like this? A bunch of fools? Had you really encouraged them? For the first time in years, you felt at home. Like you had one. That warmth you craved, the one Morgen gave off whenever he praised you, or held you, or spent time with you. That warmth resided with the Black Bulls. You ignored it, not wanting to see it. You'd spent so long in search of the old glow that you hadn't felt a new one coming from behind. They really were fools. You couldn't understand them, but you didn't care. Why were they so forgiving? "You're all a bunch of idiots... but I guess... that's not so much a bad thing..." A small smile broke out on your lips. The first time you had smiled in nearly twelve years.
Nacht gasped under his breath, it dragging out in a few short ones after. You had smiled. His little brother was smiling again. He'd be damned; you were just like him. Your smiled had even shocked Zenon, whose eyes widened. He never expected you to react like this- he never expected you to smile. This was far beyond any reaction he could have hoped for. The Black Bulls all backed away in surprise. A grin made it's way onto Asta's face first, "you smiled! That's the first time I've ever seen you smile!" You looked away from him, rolling you eyes, your smile still on your face. You couldn't suppress your smile. You were happy.
"That's the kiddo I remember!" Yami wrapped his arm around your shoulders, half-hugging you tightly. The contact was something you were still unfamiliar with, leaving you unsure of what to do. The smell of cigarette smoke wasn't overly powering on him, Nacht used to smell like it all the time. You could remember Morgen plucking countless packets from his hands and disposing of them. Home. That's what it used to be like. You, Morgen, Nacht. You never imagined anything past that. That was the time you were happiest. It may be gone now, but that didn't mean you couldn't pave your way to a knew home to call your own. You weren't sure why they were still so welcoming, you felt you didn't deserve this after all you had said and done. "You may have been snatched up by Ofelia and joined her Wolves, but you'll always be a Black Bull to us, kiddo." It meant a lot to you to hear Yami say that. You tutted, "never been good with your words, have you?" Yami just laughed it off.
"I told you, didn't I?" Zenon smiled, resting his chin on his hand. Your eyes dulled and narrowed at him, "keep going and you'll be plucking spikes from your broom for the next week." Zenon put his hands up in defence to show he had no intention of continuing. "Come on, don't be like that! Sit down!" Asta tugged you away by your arm, making you sit down next to him. You hesitated but sat down beside him in the end. Charmy immediately shoved all kinds of foods into your arms, "go on! Eat up!" "... Thank you." Asta immediately began to converse with you and the others, bringing you into any conversations, Zenon even joining.
Nacht watched on from a distance away. You were okay; you were going to be okay. He had no intention of pushing you and risking sending you back down a dark path of no-return. He was happy. His little brother was back. 'Morgen... he's okay.'
YOU ARE READING
The White Wolf
Fanfiction(Y/N) is a nineteen year old boy living in the noble realm. Status never bothered (Y/N), he didn't care who you were or where you were from. Not after the incident; he didn't care. In a recently formed squad; White Wolves, (Y/N) was promoted to vice...
