Murder Drones Stories/Oneshots

Withdrawal

Request by @ykmlmao
Graphic depictions of violence and angst.
Proofread✔

It hurt. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong with N. It felt like a crawling itching feeling all throughout his wiring. It was simply a part of his programming. Stopping it felt so very wrong. It was what he was made for. He had to follow what he was taught; after all, the trainers rewarded him for his work.

They wouldn't reward him for something bad, right? Right? He had to be doing the right thing. It was okay to do this.
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Those were the thoughts going through N's head as he held a worker against the wall. The worker had strayed from the colony, so it was the worker's own fault really. Right? It was the worker's fault, right?

N shook his head. He was fine. He wasn't doing anything wrong. An 'X' flashed into his visor. He was doing something right. It just felt so good to sink his claws into the worker's neck.

Oil seeped down from around the fresh wound in the worker's neck and N could already taste the warm sweet oil he wanted. No- he needed. It hurt too much to not do what he was made for. He needed this oil, just like how he needed this kill.

The kill rewarded him just as much as the oil did, if not more. Everything just felt right when he was tearing a worker drone apart piece by piece. This was right. He didn't have anything to worry about anymore, because what he was doing was what he was made to do.

He was sure he was doing the right thing.

Claws dug into soft metal with jagged sounds. Oil dripped to the floor below and precious wiring was exposed. A warning flashed onto the worker's screen. N was enjoying this. He was doing such a good job, too! The company would be so proud of him.

The thought of someone being proud of him made him smile.
...
But wasn't Uzi proud of him for disregarding the company's orders?

N shook his head. This felt too right for him to worry about it. He sliced through the worker's thin outer casing, letting oil and metallic parts gush forth from the wound. He felt like not killing had weighed down on his shoulders, like it was so heavy he would've been crushed had he not gone through with his urges.

He was free now. His mind was set free. He wasn't being crushed by the urge to kill anymore. He tasted the warm sweet oil and felt it flow through his system as he drank it. It cooled his system and cleared his mind. He let out a sigh of relief as he displayed closed eyes and smiled. He felt so truly happy for the first time since he swore off killing and tried to defy his programming.

Then he looked down at his hands, and he saw they were claws. He saw the body of the worker for what it was, and he saw the monster he had become. N took a step back, his world crashing down on him once again. This was a worker, this was someone not so different from him. He just killed someone with feelings, or maybe even a family and job.

Guilt weighed down on his shoulders more than the craving of the kill and oil ever did. He felt so heavy his posture even sagged. His visor displayed two guilty eyes and no longer an 'X.' He was never innocent or in the right, even if that was what he was trained for. It was like an itching feeling. He was rewarded for the kill all his life, so why did he see what he was now all of a sudden? Why did it hurt so much to see what he's done, but also feel so good knowing he did something to please the company?

N fell to his knees, hands clenching at his head. His head was pounding with his swirling thoughts, and his feelings were so conflicting he felt like he was being torn apart. Was it really his fault the high felt so good until he saw it for what it really was?

Not entirely. He was trained to be like this, but just because it felt good didn't mean he should keep doing it. Like how some humans did drugs for the high; just cause they got high and happy didn't mean the drugs were good.

N thought of Uzi. She'd be so disappointed in him if she knew. She may even kill him. He wouldn't blame her. A spike of pain went down his body as he looked back at the body. He wiped the oil from his mouth and let out a low pitched sob. He didn't want to disappoint Uzi. She cared so much about him it seemed. He just wanted to do a good job.

N stumbled through the snow, almost blinded by his tears, and fell to his knees once again a little ways away from the body of the worker he killed. He pushed away layers of snow until he saw the hard dirt underneath, and used his still unsheathed claws to scrape through it until he had a hole big enough to hide the body.

N rolled the empty body into the hole and pushed the remaining dirt and snow over it, further littering the desolate wasteland that was Copper-9. Not like the environment would care much though, considering all the wildlife was dead. N stood looking at the snow covered in oil, and the lump in the snow that hid the body.

Uzi could never know. N dug his claws into his arms, letting the pain from it mix with the guilt he felt for killing this worker. But he still felt the pull to kill deep down. He knew he'd relapse again. The urge was too strong for him to overcome, and he couldn't tell Uzi. She didn't have to know though, right?

She did exile herself after all, so it'd be fine if he just killed a few more workers...
Right?

The 'X' glitched back onto his visor as N fell victim to his training once again. Still though, Uzi could never know. He wouldn't let Uzi see how much of a monster he really was.