Murder Drones Stories/Oneshots

5 Stages of Grief- Part 2: Anger

This is part two of a five part short story following N, and it's pretty angsty. This story deals with themes of abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, homophobia, etc.- so it's understandable if you want to skip this one.
This story is a take on why N is such a people pleaser, and puts up with how his teammates treat him, also he's roughly a young teenager in the memory bits. (9-10th grade age in memories and 18 outside of the memories on Copper-9 taking place after episode 2.)
These memories would take place before any of the episodes, and N has a family but is in school/training to become a worker away from his family. Disregard the fact it doesn't make sense for him to have a family, considering families of workers were only a thing after humans were wiped out on Copper-9. Memories will be separate from the present, so don't worry about telling the bits apart. <3

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~Enjoy~

A deep breath in, a longer breath out; until it felt as though N's thoughts were blown out with the air. 

The anger drained out of him and he felt like crying again. Lately he always felt mad, and there just wasn't a real way to take away the anger; the best he could do was breathe through it. He just really wished he could take the anger out of himself and store it away on a shelf in a container. 

Yet, he couldn't just store the anger away on a shelf. Very inconvenient. 

The anger always gave way to that feeling where he wanted to cry. His mom was right, he really was too sensitive. N frowned, wiping at the tears beginning to form. 

He snatched his resource book from his locker and made his way to his next class. He couldn't afford to waste his time thinking about things that got him mad. N kept his head down in the halls of the small school. Everyone here was either A-Track or B-Track, and the tracks were split between the fifty-two "lucky" drones chosen for the project. 

When a drone was chosen, the parent(s) or guardian(s) of the drone could choose to take their child off of the program; but usually the academy was seen as such a high honour that nobody did. His mom still threatened it though, for the simple reason that he had freedom here; freedom he never got at home, anyways.

N hummed nervously, trying to calm down as he walked into the class. He was in The A-Track and V was in the B-Track, which meant he'd be alone in this class since V was his only friend. N felt a twinge of annoyance at the memory of his mom moving him to the A-Track from the track with V because they thought that she was "a bad influence on him."

V was amazing! She was light, and fluffy clouds, and cute angry puppies; she was all the good things in his world. 

And his mom wanted to take her away- she wanted to take away the only bit of happiness he had. His mom wanted him to suffer and become obedient; but he knew he would never be, not after meeting V. His mom disliked him for a plethora of reasons, but when he developed obvious feelings for V, he was done for in her eyes.

N growled, waving the thoughts away. Now really wasn't the time. N plopped down at a desk near the back, hoping to avoid any sort of attention. The bell rang and the teacher soon droned on about the regenerative capabilities the drones in the program would be updated with. N stopped paying attention. He already knew most of this anyway. He had read through the textbook at home. It kept his mom off of him when he did something school related like that. 

N took a deep breath in, letting a shuddering breath out. Today was going to be a long day, especially since his mind was such a wreck. N bounced his leg under the desk, trying to find a way to make the swirling thoughts stop.

He hadn't even been focused on what would happen after the academy. Would he lose V then? Would everything he's been fighting to keep all have been for nothing? N's grip tightened on his pencil, the force threatening to snap it.

N was just so mad that he had no control over anything in his life. He always did what everyone else wanted, but never lived for himself, and now he might be giving up the only good thing in his life!

No.

No, no, no.

He was going to fight, and he would stay with V. The pencil snapped and N looked at the shards of the plastic mechanical pencil in his hands, his jaw unclenching. He hadn't realised he had been so rigid.

A drone to his left flashed him a look of concern, to which he gritted his teeth into a smile and flashed a thumbs up. The drone stared a moment longer before shaking their head and refocusing their attention onto the lesson.

He wasn't going to let his mom do this. He wasn't going to let the company separate him from his friend. He wasn't going to give up. He was going to stick with V, and he was going to take whatever the company threw at him.

N's face contorted into a cruel smile, his finger tapping the desk lightly. He would make the life of anyone who kept him from his happiness hell.

Well, that was an exaggeration. N slumped in his uncomfortable school seat, biting his lip anxiously. He would find a way to stay with V...

Probably...

But would he disappoint everyone else in the process?

N cracked his knuckles at the thought. If anyone thought less of him for pursuing harmless happiness, then they were the problem.

Like his mom.

The bell rang and N grabbed his text book, going to get the things out of his locker for the next class. Maybe he'd do something for himself his mother approved of for once.

No.

N wasn't going to cut corners on his life for his mom's sake.

N wondered if there was a way he could live for himself now rather than later. He frowned, shutting his locker again. Maybe he could make a bargain with his mom? Maybe she really loved him? Maybe-

N froze, twirling the pencil in his hand. No, she didn't love him. That was okay though, because he'd get through this.

And when he did?

He would show her how wrong she is.