A Match Made in Hell

10

I watch the boy as his chest rises and falls, sleeping peacefully on my bed.  I told him to sleep until I cooked something, he didn't want to get up though.

"Nick," I said quietly as I shook his shoulders, hesitant and afraid to wake him up. He looked too comfortable, I couldn't.

"Karl." He groaned, turning his head to the other side. Such a child, his behaviour puts a smile on my face.

"Darling, you need to eat something."I place a kiss on his forehead. He slowly opens his eyes, adjusting to the light.

He holds his hand out for me to help him up, I grab his arm and wrap it around my shoulder, pulling him up as he groans.

I struggle to walk with him around me, he's a lot harder to carry when he's barely awake. I walk him to the sink, holding him as he washes his face with shaky hands.

"Here," I hand him a towel, watching him struggle to even take it from my hand. I bring it to his face, wiping off the droplets of water dripping down his jaw.

"Can you talk?" I ask, caressing his cheek with my thumb.

"Yeah, I just don't know what to say." He mumbles, his voice raspy and quiet, barely loud enough for me to hear and understand.

He pushes me away gently, walking on his own slowly to the kitchen.

I pull out a chair for him to sit on, which he almost breaks when he collapses right onto it, like taking those 10 steps was the hardest and most complicated experience of his life.

I place a plate off food infront of him, watching him play with his food childishly before digging in and almost devouring it all in less than a minute.

I zone out, staring at him whilst he eats.

The sight of him makes me want to puke my organs out.

His skin is a disgusting yellow colour, he looks exhausted. His lips are almost blue, white skin taking over the blood. God, he looks so tired. My heart drops down to my stomach.

"Are you okay?" The words slip out, so quietly that I don't think he could have heard that. To my surprise, he did.

His head shoots up alerted, eyes wide as he stares into mine, nodding his head slowly. "Yeah I am. Thank you for asking, I'm better now, and I wouldn't be if it weren't for you, Karl." He swallows, shutting his eyes in pain. "Thank you."

"Jesus, you're so fucking welcome." I mutter under my breath, immediately getting up from my seat as I shake my head and close my eyes in fear.

I approach him, taking his face in my hands and kissing him repeatedly, non stop. I kiss his forehead, his nose, his cheeks and his jaw, but I don't go anywhere near his lips.

I don't want him to get this as a sexual act, because it isn't.

As much as I do want him, I'm not doing that to him right now. There's no way I'd have sex with him in the state that he's in.

I want to take care of him, be there for him. I want to hug him and make him feel better in any way I possibly can.

I press my forehead onto his, taking a deep breath before taking a step away from him. "Eat your food. Call out for me if you don't feel good, I'll be right back."

I rush to my bedroom, shutting the door behind me and reaching out for the lock, struggling to twist it to get the door to lock.

I slide down the door, onto the floor as I shut my eyes, in fear of what I may do.

The fact that he's been so close to me before, the thought, it haunts me. It makes me feel something I've never felt before, and I don't think it's good.