fluff lemon crack ( yall get everything except for angst. angst has its own league. )
female reader
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"today is my birthday and you WILL celebrate it."
___________________
😳
step 1 : try to get him to seduce you
do you know what the most annoying thing in the world is?
well, it certainly varies from person to person BUT we can all agree that its very annoying when a person doesnt understand social cues.
youve been dropping hints to scaramouche that you were into him for about six months but that air-headed sack of shogun blood doesnt seem to understand how to romance just like how his mother doesnt know how to operate in a kitchen.
so today you were gonna write a book and publish it to the world just in case anyone needed to know the answers. you were going to test all your theories on scaramouche because he deserved to be annoyed at this point for totally ignoring your advances.
or it could be he doesnt like you—
um.
well this is awkward.
WHATEVER. moving on.
youve put on your best set of clothes (the one with tight leggings and short skirts with a tight bra and stuff) anyway the point is that you looked ✨sexy✨ and you were pretty sure if someone as deranged as dottore looked your way for a second just to get a second glance at what you were wearing, you were sure scaramouche would bat an eye.
you knocked on scaramouche's door, and without any other indication that anything was going to happen this peaceful afternoon, you pulled out your knife and slammed it in front of his throat, stopping before it cut any flesh.
