Always and Forever

Chapter 24

*Jake’s POV*

I was standing in front of Ella’s grave. I couldn’t see her face, I couldn’t see her smile, her eyes, her hair… Only her name is written on the gravestone. One thing left from her… Last reminder of her… I had a feeling that she was still with me… That I wasn’t alone… But then I remembered that she was under the cold dirt. All alone… She was in the place where I couldn’t get to her. Even though I promised her that I would always protect her and I would make sure she was safe and sound with me… I broke that promise. And I couldn’t do anything to fix this. But I could do one thing – Take revenge. It was the main goal in my life.

I have no idea how long I stood there. Staring at the grave without saying a single word. Eventually I left and went towards the car. Now I believed the painful truth, My Ella, My wife wasn’t with me anymore. She really did leave me. She wasn’t coming back anymore. I just wish I could hold her hand at least once, look into her beautiful eyes and see her smile when I tell her how much I love her, how much I miss her. To tell her how sorry I am for breaking my promise, for not keeping her safe, for putting her in danger. Tell her that I can’t live without her, I am nothing without her… But I can’t do it anymore. And somehow I have to keep living without saying this. Keeping these unsaid words forever in my heart. I don’t think I’m able to do that…

When I got to Nathan’s car I didn’t say anything and neither did he. He started the car and drove towards his house without saying anything. To be honest I preferred it that way. I couldn’t handle talking right now. I had no power to say anything and my wound hurt a lot. When I was looking for Ella I didn’t even feel any pain because the wound in my heart, caused by fear of losing Ella, was way more painful than the gun wound. But now my heart is shattered and the only pain I feel is in my chest.

As soon as we arrived in the house, I went straight to the room I woke up in and went to bed. Maybe all of this was some kind of nightmare and when I would sleep all of this would end and I would wake up in the real world, where I am happy with Ella next to me.

……

-         Jake get here and take the bag! It’s heavy!

-         Oh, right. Sorry.

I took the bags from Ella and we left the Hotel. I told Ella that I had a surprise for her. but I didn’t tell her that I was taking her to Seine for a picnic. I planned everything beforehand. Before our wedding she told me that her childhood dream was to go to Paris with a person she loves and I of course, made that dream come true. I can’t forget how her eyes widened after I told her we were going to Paris. She was jumping from excitement and I was beyond happy. But of course I couldn’t stop there and planned a few surprises for her. one of them being this picnic.

Once we got there she hugged me tight, with tears in her eyes. I kissed her eyes and told her that I didn’t want to see her cry. She smiled and wiped her tears away.

Rest of the night was one of my best memories. Ella and I were joking, laughing, having fun. At one point we just sat on the blanket hugging each other and watching Eiffel tower, without saying anything, Comforting silence between us. Sometimes words aren’t needed, sometimes all we need is each other.

To be honest I never was a good dancer and the only time I danced in public was with Ella all those months ago, when she got drunk in Aurora and wanted to dance, but now… I needed to dance with my wife. Dance with her in the sunset, full of all these beautiful colors. Dance with her and forget about everything and everyone, only Ella, me and Eiffel tower.

So I looked for some slow music in my phone, got up and asked Ella to dance. She hesitated for a second but then smiled and gave me her hand, her hand with our wedding ring on. I smiled, took it with pleasure and gently helped her get up.