Carina and Maya (TWO)

That was a close call

Tuesday March 6 th
Continued ....

8h10 am
**Maya is in the driveway and still can't believe she almost drove off the busiest highway bridge so she could feel no more pain . Maya knew Carina was impatiently waiting for her so she didn't took her time, she immediately walked into the house **

Carina is clearly confused

Hi bambina! What is wrong?
Maya: hi my love! I'm so sorry,
Carina: come sit down and talk !
**Maya grabbed a blanket and sat next to her rightfully so worried wife **

Okay so in therapy, Diane has me go back through my trauma.. she says it's " part of the healing process" but it's clearly not working! And the fucking clouds are back!
Carina: umm the clouds ? What clouds? Please explain, I want to understand your thoughts and feelings so I can know how to help you Bambina!

**Maya teary eyed  **
Eyes forward. It's the rule that was pounded into me, eyes forward at all times , the only thing that matters is the finish line.
**Carina listens and eventually gets emotional **
Bambina... ** she puts her hands out, Maya grabs Carina's hand**

Maya: I think about dying , since I was twelve, it sue's me when I can't sleep, when I'm anxious I think about dying, and then I can fall asleep. Eyes forward at all times , it's exhausting I'm exhausted
Carina : is it a suicidal impulse do you seriously consider hurting yourself Bambina?
Maya: No, it's , an escape, you know when you have to escape when I was little I would fly all over the country for track meets and I would look down at the clouds and they look like a bed and they look so soft like nothing could hurt inside those clouds, like I could sleep in like I could rest like I could love if I could just jump into those clouds.

**Carina sobbing along with Maya. Carina pulled Maya into her chest and comforted her **

Carina: shhhhhh it's okay,
Maya: I am beyond sorry, i was thinking about you and the kids if I eventually pushed the gas pedal onto that concrete part of the bridge. I want everything, the trauma , the pain , just to go away. That's why I've been working non stop and it's simply because I don't know anything else... when things were rough and tough my dad would force me to work harder and harder, now I can't... I don't want to live like this anymore!
Carina: okay shhhhh it's okay, everything is going to be okay! I will get you extra help because clearly what Diane is doing, re pushing your trauma in your face and mind is definitely not helping. So in your next therapy session I'm going to be with you, holding your hands and if Diane doesn't do the job she's supposed to do,
Maya: she's really really good at her job my love
Carina: Maybe she is but right now what I'm seeing is she is destroying my wife pieces by pieces, and I'm not going to be able to live with this. So I'm texting Bailey now and getting you an appointment with a psychiatrist at grey's Sloan and I'll be with you the whole time!
Maya: thank you for helping me
Carina: it's what we do when our spouses are hurting and thank you for opening up with everything to me!
Maya: I feel much better now!
Carina: okay...

Ohh Bailey texted back saying she's available today at 14h20
Maya: okay perfect!
Carina: yes it's more than perfect! Tell me how long you aren't working for?
Maya: I don't know exactly but Beckett said not until I'm like this because it's irrational and dangerous for me and everyone on my team !
Carina: okay... I'm going to let Bailey know that I will be dividing all my patients between Addison and Jo and I'm not leaving you out of my sight until you get better! But we will go to your psychiatrist appointment at the hospital and home . That's it!
** Bailey replied with Okay, take all the time she needs. You are an amazing wife and momma! Your family is extremely lucky to have you by their side **

Carina: see everything is settled!
Maya: thank you so much for taking the time off to help me get better!
Carina: anything for you my wife. I have to go in the shower before Andy come here,
Maya: okay go , I will be fine here on the couch while you—— actually never mind that I will be joining you instead!
**Carina laughs as Maya sprints up the stairs as she is going to slap Carina's beautiful ass **

9h
**Andy knocked on the door and rang the doorbell, Carina quickly came to open the door and let Andy and James inside the house **
Carina: hi guys come in.
Andy: hi carina thank you so much for doing this at home.
James: yea she's been umm ...
Carina laughs

It's totally fine, come and lay down on the couch and I'll do the ultrasound.
Andy: okay..
Carina: so you're officially six months pregnant..
How do you feel?
Andy: umm where do I begin, I'm extremely tired and emotional, soar everywhere. Everything hurts.
Carina: yes I do know that feeling a little too well. Okay so here's your baby, everything looks beautiful and normal. Ohhh I see the gender.
**James holding Andy's hands **
We are ready.
Andy: yes but we really want is a healthy baby, a boy or a girl it really doesn't matter.
James: right.
Carina: well you are going to have a beautiful baby girl congratulations.
Look
**Andy couldn't help but cry**
We are haaaaving a little girl.
Carina: yesss look right here. She's completely fine and healthy.
Andy: okay thank you much Carina.
Carina: it's my pleasure
** as she is cleaning off the ultrasound gel on Andy's stomach.**

James and Andy both left ...

**Maya and Carina cuddled up completely naked until Maya's psychiatrist appointment.**

Maya: you know I could look at your beautiful naked body all day.
Carina: Maya... come on we're going to be late. We will continue with the romantic sex after your appointment.
Maya: fine.

*** later that day
Everyone was back home and they ate a frozen pizza and the kids took their bath / shower and got a bedtime story from Maya. **

Maya: okay all done the story.
Violet: but I'm not tired.
Momma said you no feed good?
Maya: yeah that's right I'm not... but mommy will definitely get better soon. Okay it's time to go to sleep now, Scarlett is sleeping. Goodnight Violet Grace. Mommy loves you so much.
Violet: okay. Good night mommy I love you too.