Riley's Girl

The Rustle Reveal

"I don't get it Y/N, why not just let us help you?" Sam asks, baffled.

Locking eyes with him, being sure he was listening "because Sam, the last time you were involved in a rescue mission; I lost everything. I can't go through that again. I won't" your voice breaks as you sit back against the chair, folding your arms.

Sam hangs his head briefly, taking a deep breathe "I get it, I do. I-I lost him too."

You scoff out a chuckle, as the tears started flowing down your face, soaking your cheeks "No. No. See you don't get it." 

You hear Sam sigh frustratedly, drawing your eyes up to look at him and he had the same look on his face that he usually does the "really" face.

You take yet another breathe, this was going to be difficult to try and get through his head. But it was necessary. "When he died. You left. You got the support group. Then you were an avenger. So, no Sam, you don't get it." 

His face falls but yet again he had the frustrated look on your face, which was only making you more angry. The judgement, the lack of understanding, the coldness. It was becoming too much to bare and far too much to ignore.

"I lost everything. My job, which then meant i lost my home. I near enough lost my damn mind after that HENCE the doc. But you know" you scoff, shaking your head as you lean forward resting your elbows on your knees, holding your head in your hands as you wiped your tears from your face.

Sam was listening closely, not saying a word not even making a sound. 

"Despite all of that. I could have coped, I could. But there's one thing that I lost that I just couldn't deal with. That was my tipping point Sam."

"What was it?", he asks, but the more shocking part, it was a genuine curiosity. Not one of those confirmation question, clarification of what he was already thinking. You knew Sam, he really didn't have the faintest of ideas of what you could be talking about.

Which both melted you and made you that little bit more bitter. The clueless idiot.

"And here I thought you were intelligent" you look away, wiping the singular tear falling as his ignorance becomes less and less adorable "you Sam." you lock eyes with him, as you tug on the sleeve of your top, the nerves getting the better of you.

"My tipping point. My breaking point, wasn't losing Riley. It was... losing... you."

Nothing. Not a syllable. Not a sigh. Not a breath. He had nothing to say, and who could blame him? Losing your best friend hurts, losing the love of your life is heart wrenching and life altering, but losing your soulmate? Not even a punishment Lucifer would inflict.

"So, no. No I won't let you help me, I've already lived the pain of losing you twice in my lifetime and I am not risking that ever becoming permanent." you stand up, putting your jacket on. "You're all the good I've got left in this world and you're staying put." 

You go to walk out, having had no response or reaction from him, you had work to do. 

"Sarah? The boys?" Sam shouts after you. 

You stop, smile and turn back to him, the mention of them instantly warmed you "My god, she helped me so damn much and those boys. Wow, I love them. They've got your mischievous ways in them. She's got her hands full." 

The smile on your face fades "But Karli was the one that saved me. She gave me a purpose, a meaning. I owed her for that, now that debts paid. I have to stop her. I encouraged this for far too long. I need to be the one to stop her." Your intent and determination was evident in your voice, in your delivery of your explanation. 

You helped start it. You had to bring it to it's end.

"But doing it alone-" Sam starts desperate, pleading, begging even.

"Typical Sam ." you couldn't help the chuckle that escaped you but your anger resurfaced "not listened to a damn word I've said." you sigh "okay." you shake your head before turning to face the "mirror" on the wall behind you. "Doc, tell "Captain America" that I'm ready to talk also please inform him that Sam Wilson and James Barnes mean to interfere." 

you stop looking over your shoulder at a furious Sam, keeping eye contact. "And it would be best to have them both incarcerated until the matter is resolved." you give your best smug smile. "I always find a way Sam, now be a good boy and stay put. I'll see you around." You once again go for the door, this time not giving Sam time to respond.

But before you could get out of the door "Bucky was right wasn't he? About your feelings for me?" 

"Well if that speech wasn't the give away, I don't know what else a girl can do." you look halfly over your shoulder, looking at him through your lashes "I don't put my neck on the line for anyone Wilson." 

"What about Riley?"

"Don't. Don't you dare. I loved him. You were different."

"How so?"

You can't help but smirk the sadness crippling you "You made sure I listened for the rustle."

You see his breath hitch and the tears pool in his waterline "You knew?" 

Turning to look at him again, your own tears pooling "Of course I knew. A woman finds out everything. Now, excuse me fellow musketeer, this time I need to go solo."

This time a scoff escapes him. 

"Don't worry I'll be coming back. We're not finished here." 

Sam's eyes don't leave yours, but you notice a slight softening. "No. It seems like we're just getting started."