Poison in my veins (BoyxBoy)

rambles and bashings

JG•

I growl low,lugging the big glass bottle that had bright clear liquid when I bought it against the brick wall.

It shatters perfectly,sound of glass breaking fills the park where I'm standing far from the town so no one will hear over the sound of the party still going strong.

Glass pieces litter the floor,thousand little puzzle pieces sharp and dangerous If you touch them or try to put them back together.

Bad puzzle with way too many broken pieces,none will fit unless you force them to which'll only break them more and create more dangerous sharp pieces.

I really don't understand why you're so angry.

I growl annoyed at my inner self,wishing I had bought more bottles to throw at the wall and watch them smash.

Smash smash smash

A lovely soundtrack for being alone in the dark on a cold dangerous night like this.

Seriously why are you so angry?

Go away.I'm not in the mood for you right now.

I'm just asking.Whats the big deal?You almost killed him,so what? Not like you haven't done that before.

I roll my eyes and groan internally,moving to plop down on the big blue park bench that has scratches and stickers all over the side.

My mind keeps replaying the look in my angels blue as ocean eyes,look of sadness and a taste of confusion.

Sadness and confusion Sadness and confusion Sadness and confusion

Sadness that I was gonna kill the boy who he probably likes,confusion on why he wanted to travel with me in the first place.

You're just guessing now.

Well that's probably what it was.He probably hates me for what I did.

But you didn't do it.You didn't kill the little shit,you let him live.He should consider himself lucky.

But I almost did kill him.Right in front of my angel too,right in front of his blue eyes to see so nightmares could flash in his mind when he sleeps.

He probably hates me,probably terrified of what I almost did to the boy who's lips were on his.

He probably doesn't wanna be near me anymore,doesn't wanna be around the monster who almost killed a boy right before his eyes.

I groan and run my hands through my hair,tugging hard enough it stings and I bite my lip from the pain.

This small pain I enjoy,pain for the bad thing I almost did right in front of my precious angel.

Pain for all the bad things I've done,all the sins I've written on my skin by doing them.

Pain for being the monster I am.

Bad boys must be punished,monsters must be kept in cages so all the precious perfect people are safe from the evil things they could do to them in the night while they're sleeping.

Evil things like myself deserve darkness and cold places and never to see any form of happiness or kindness,left alone in the world to be punished for the bad things they've done.

They shouldn't have a friend in the world,shouldn't have anyone to care what happens to them.

Shouldn't have anyone be around them,especially beautiful angels such as the one with the soft as silk blonde hair and the crystal clear blue eyes.