Poison in my veins (BoyxBoy)

when a heart breaks

JG• ~next day~

The shower was burning up so the window fogged but I still saw what everyone saw, a monster.

I tried to look past it,wanted to see someone else's shape standing there so I would hate myself a little less.

Wanted so badly to see just a normal image for once,a boy with dark hair and different eyes that was tall and normal looking on the outside.

I wanted that so badly,to look in mirrors and not see something so horrible and cruel.

I so badly wanted to see something normal,something unmonstrous.

Something...not poisonous.

But...I couldn't stop it.

Couldn't stop the things I saw,the things I imagined and remembered.

Couldn't stop the pictures and things that flew through me when I saw my monstrous self.

couldn't couldn't couldn't couldn't couldn't

Couldn't no matter how hard I tried...and fuck did I try.

My head was at war with me for what I had done,inner thoughts some smiling and laughing while others threw insults and yelled at my stupid self.

stupid stupid stupid boy,how can you be so stupid??

Giving pleasure to my angel made me so high I couldn't breathe right,small whimpers and moans from the soft body beneath me made stars dance dizzily in my line of sight.

Not much I did but it was enough to drive me wild,the sounds his soft lips slipped only made it harder to control.

I kissed and touched and left marks on his skin,loving how pale he was for pale skin is an art in tall museums.

pale soft skin like poetry,hands touching to create beautiful abstract upon milk moonlight bodies

The sweetness of him drove me insane,loving how just my mouth made him wiggle with what little I was doing.

Everything was fine.

Yes I shouldn't have snapped,should have kept it under control cause devils can't lose control around the shimmering beauties.

can't cant can't,can't lose control or the pale angels will cry and you'll hate yourself forever

I tried to keep sane,tried to stay in control and just barely dangle over the edges of my insanity.

I tried but then...I lost it.

I lost it and jumped head first off the cliff,doing something I shouldn't have done in the way I did it.

I bit him.

I fucking bit him.

Is it a big deal?

Oh no,of course not.

It's not like he's gonna die or something,nothing dangerous from my mark except now he'll walk around with a pretty bruise that looks dark and painful.

no biggie no biggie,just a mark like free jewelry he can wear so the world sees it's rough raw beauty

Is it a big deal?

No not at all.

No biggie,really.

nope nope nope