Stray Kids Imagines

Yang Jeongin

Tw: mentions of su!cide and self h@rm, panic attack

You were at home waiting for your boyfriend to arrive from his job. At first everything was okay, you sat on the couch and watched some tv shows you liked. But then the impulsive thoughts came in.

You wanted to die. Suddenly all you could think about was how others treated you at work. You were the only woman there so they always made you feel useless. You hated feeling so unwanted all the time. The only person who made you feel wanted was Jeongin, your boyfriend, but you didn't want to bother him at work.

'But I really should call him... I really need his help...' you thought as you started to sob and choke on your cries. You hated this feeling. Wanting to die so bad that it's the only thing you think about. 'I'll bother him if I call... I just need to ignore it... no I need to die. I just need to die. But... what about jeongin?'

You sobbed harder as your thoughts started killing you. 'Should I call or not.... I don't want to disturb him. But I should... fuck it.'

You dialed Jeongins number and took a deep breath. Jeongin quickly picked up "is something wrong love?"

Your mind instantly blanked, you didn't know what to say or do. 'Just say that you didn't need anything... just say nevermind.'

"Oh uh... n-nevermind..." you sniffled softly. 'Fuck... he's going to know im crying...'

"Im coming right now love. Could you tell me why you're crying please?" He spoke in a softer voice as he ran out of the office and started speeding home.

"I... I wanna die Jeongin... I can't take this..."

He frowned and started going faster "Okay. When I get home lets talk about it hmm? Do you have any weapons with you? Anything to harm yourself with?"

"N-no..."

"Okay good. Where are you in the house?"

"On the couch..."

"Alright love. Im almost home. Stay on the couch okay? Don't go anywhere."

"Okay..."

Jeongin parked his car, dropped his phone, and ran to you. He didn't care about anything else at that point, just taking care of you. He ran to the couch and englufed you in a hug. You cried into the nape of his neck as he rubbed circles into the small of your back.

"Thank you for calling me love. Im so proud of you for doing that."

You sniffled "I was scared..."

"Scared of what?"

"That you would be mad at me..."

"I would never be mad at you for calling me at work sweetheart. If you need help, im here. If you need to talk to someone, im here. Anytime of day or night."

"O-Okay...."

"Could you tell me what happened?"

You blushed and nodded "work sucked... im so close to quitting. It's only men so they just make me feel so unimportant and like I don't matter... they always ignore my ideas and it just sucks..." you sniffled softly.

"Oh babe... don't quit because of them. Prove to them that they can't bring you down. Prove to them that your ideas are great ones. Don't give up okay?"

"Okay.... I'll try... I just want to give up.. its so hard."

"That's why others are here for you. I'm here for you okay?"

You nodded and snuggled into his chest, trying to get rid of everything you were feeling and focus on him. But you couldn't. You desperately needed to end your life. You wanted to go to the bathroom, to get rid of everything you were feeling. To get rid of yourself. But you know Jeongin would know your plans. So you stayed there, in his arms, and cried your heart out.

He kissed your forehead and wiped away your tears as they kept spewing out "It's alright my love. Let it out."

You held onto jeongins hand tightly as you tried to stop the urges. But it just kept getting worse. So much worse. You got up "Im sorry Jeongin... I can't..."

"Babe, yes you can. You can do it. I know you can."

You let go of his hand and ran to the bathroom. He chased after you and held tightly onto you, tears rushing down his face. "Y/N... y/n please... please I can't lose you."

You buried your head into his chest and sobbed, sinking down to the ground with him. He was gasping for air, a panic attack forming in his mind. He took shallow breaths, shaking softly and sweating like crazy. He didn't want you to leave him. He couldn't imagine his life without you. He squeezed you tightly not letting you out of his grasp and buried his head into your shoulder, letting his tears spill all over your shirt.

"Jeongin please... just let me go.." you sniffled softly as he held tighter onto you, his shaking getting worse. "Jeongin...? Jeongin. You're scaring me... babe?"

"You're scaring me y/n," he said in between choked sobs, "you're scaring me. Do you not realize how much I care about you? I can't live my life without you. I don't know how I would move on if you ended your life. You're my world, you're my everything. Without you im nothing."

"You're a model innie... you have your fans and your friends."

"But I wouldn't have you. Of course I love my fans and friends but you, you're the one who stole my heart l/n y/n. If you were gone there would be a huge hole in my heart that no one could fill."

You sniffle and look up at him seeing how hurt and anxious he looked. 'He's not lying. He does care. I can't leave him.'

You wiped the sweat off his forehead and the tears on his soft cheeks "I love you Jeongin."

"I love you too... so please don't leave me. I can't handle you not being with me." He continued to take shallow breaths, coughing due to how hard he was crying.

You nodded "I won't. Please, take some deep breaths okay?"

He followed your breathing and reached for your hand, his breath returning to normal once you traced the lines on his palm.

"You're still sweating alot... come on lets get you a cold rag."

"No... I can get it myself." He said worriedly, thinking that you might use it as an opportunity. He knew you had a blade near the sink and pills in the medicine cabinet. He'd quickly notice you go into the med cabinet but he didn't know where the blade was nor how easy it was to grab it.

"Jeongin I'll be okay-"

"Just, let me get it. Please."

You nodded quietly and waited as he went to the sink and wet a rag with cold water. He came back and gave it to you so you could wipe off the sweat. You were so focused on helping him that you didn't notice his small giggles due to your facial expression.

"So cute."

You tilted your head "what?"

"Your facial expression while you're focused is so cute."

You blushed softly and smiled "whatever. Stop distracting mee!" You whined as you kept wiping his face until you were satisfied.

He giggled softly while watching you "Come on, lets go watch some movies together yeah?"

"Okay. Can we have popcorn?"

"Popcorn and cuddles sounds great y/n."

He smiled and walked to the kitchen while you got the couch ready for your cuddle session. He put the popcorn in the microwave and kept a close eye on you. He was still so worried that you might harm yourself.

Eventually the popcorn was done so he placed it in a bowl. you picked out a movie and turned it on once jeongin walked in. he got under the blanket and pulled you close, wrapping his arm around your waist and placing the popcorn in between you two.

you smiled and kissed his cheek "I love you."

"I love you too baby."