Mart: "Aah so taga sa atin sya."
Audre: "Yes, engineering ang course nya."
"We were so happy. Noong magkasama na kami sa college, I thought that was the perfect and best relationship. I thought I was the happiest girl in the world. Irving was my first. First in everything. I gave him my all, with no regrets. Kasi mahal ko yung tao.
My second year term came. Then, that was the time that he was like drifting away from me. He spent less and less time with me, saying that he had lots of things to do with his studies. There were days that we don't talk with each other. So ako naman, I gave my full understanding and trust. Kasi I know that his course is a difficult one. He needed to focus and carry on. I gave that to him. I also took that opportunity to study well. But then, it was really my fate to see the truth.
One time, I wanted to surprise him; so I decided to drop by at his dormitory to check on him and maybe I can beg him for us to spend the time together. Pagdating ko doon sa room nya, I was shocked to see that he is f*cking another girl. Right in his bed. Nagkagulatan kaming lahat. I was just so shocked that I couldn't say a word. I just stood there like I can't move. I just froze. Shocked. Angry. I am crying pero silent lang. Hindi ako nagwala. Syempre natigil sila sa kanilang ginagawa. I interrupted eh. He took his boxer shorts and he came up to me, he said "Baby, I can explain this" pero sinampal ko lang sya. Then there was silence. Long pause. Sinampal ko uli. Kasi hindi rin nya ma-explain. Tapos sinampal ko pa ng isa. Then nag-walk out na ako. I was crying.
Ever since that day, hindi ko na sya kinausap. Kahit na anong effort nya para mag-sorry, makipag-usap, wala. Hindi ko binigyan ng chance. I just texted him one time and sinabi ko na I am breaking up with him. He can do whatever he want to do na kasi I am out of his life. He tried to talk with my cool parents, and even with my big sis pero hindi nila ako napilit na kausapin si Irving. Yun ako eh. Kapag ayaw ko, ayaw ko na. No one can change what I want and what I know, especially kung napatunayan ko na tama ako. So what he did, he wrote me a letter. I read the letter. He said in his letter that he was so sorry. And no amount of words can really explain or justify what he did to me. And for that he will let me go. He said that he will not bother me again. He hoped that I could forgive him someday, even though he know that he don't deserve my forgiveness in any way. Sa sobrang laki ng kasalanan nya sa akin. He said that he will forever carry in his heart that he hurt me so bad, so that he won't forget about me for all his life.
I was so mad at him. That it affected my studies. Wala akong ginawa kungdi umiyak na lang ng umiyak sa galit. Hindi ko kayang pumasok sa classes ko. Wala akong gana sa lahat ng bagay. Umuwe ako sa amin sa province at hindi na ako talaga napilit na pumasok sa school. My professors still considered me despite my poor performance on that semester. Hindi ko kinaya yung pag-aaral ko na halos umayaw na ako. As in gusto ko na tumigil sa pag-aaral. My parents didn't force me na bumalik sa school nung sumusuko na ako pero they told me na hindi ko naman kailangang itapon ang future ko dahil lang sa hindi nagwork-out ang relasyon namin ni Irving. They plead na huwag naman daw ako magstop sa pag-aaral at huwag naman din daw ako lumipat ng school. Kasi siguro nag-aalala sila na baka mahirapan ako mag-adjust. But they helped me to file for a leave of absence sa school for two semesters. Pinagpahinga muna nila ako.
That same year, I lost my parents. They both died due to plane crash. So you can imagine how broken hearted I was. Buti na lang may kapatid pa ako na masasandalan. And our grandmother took us in. She became our beacon of strength. Since my parents died, I promised to myself that I will keep myself strong. I toughened my core para hindi na ako masasaktan. Pumasok na ako sa school pero ang nabalitaan ko eh wala na si Irving sa school. I don't know kung lumipat ba sya ng ibang school or I don't know. I really didn't care. Hindi ko naman sya hinanap.
I guess I really carried that anger in my heart. Kaya siguro sa tingin mo ngayon, I hate relationships."
Mart: "Do you hate relationships?"
Audre: "No, not at all. After what happened to me and Irving, maybe naging doubtful lang ako."
Mart: "Doubtful sa relationship?"
Audre: "Doubtful na magkakaroon ako ng maayos na relationship."
Mart: "Ha? Bakit naman? Why you doubt yourself? I strongly and firmly believe that you will find love."
- dahil andito kaya ako.
Audre: "You think so?" (smiling sweetly)
Mart: "Of course, I know so." (smiles)
Audre: "Well, thank you for believing. I also hope I could believe it. Maybe someday. I just don't know today." (smiles again)
Mart looks at Audre and smiled lovingly. Mart really wanted to tell Audre how much he cares for the girl. He promised to himself he would do everything to make her fall in love again.
Mart: "Do you still love him?"
Audre: "Who? Irving? No. Hindi na." (smiles)
Mart: "So naka-move on ka na?"
Audre: "Oo naman" (smiles wide)
Mart: "Audre, thank you sa pagshare mo nitong personal matter. Nangungulit lang ako kanina, pero I didn't know na ganon pala kalalim ang mga pinagdaanan mo. I'm sorry for the loss of your parents. But I know that they are proud of how you became; of how strong person you are right now. "
Audre: "Thank you. (smiles) Hindi naman madali ang lahat. It was hard. Hindi din naman ako perfect. Sometimes I break down. I just missed my parents so much."
Mart: "Audre, sana huwag magsara ang puso mo para sa pagmamahal. Kasi naniniwala akong may tao na nakalaan sa'yo. At kapag nahanap ka nya, I know hindi ka na nya papakawalan. Bigyan mo lang sana sya ng pagkakataon. I hope you still believe in love."
Audre: "Well, I certainly believe in love. If I don't believe in it, bakit pa tayo papuntang Zambales ngayon, diba? I believe in Paolo and Ayin's love. They deserve each other even though right now, they are fighting and are like on the edge of breaking up. I won't give up on them now. I believe in love because that's how my parents brought me up – sa kanilang pagmamahalan. They loved each other endearingly."
"How I wish I have that same for me too."
Mart: "Meron yan. . . Magkakaroon ka din ng ganon para sa'yo."
– ako.
