New Friends, New Family, New Forever

The Butt: Part 1

{A/N: Skipping to this episode since I don't see Sarah's presence having any significant changes in the other episode}

Sarah's POV:

The six of us are sitting in the front row for Joey's latest play.

Rachel: *reading the program* "Look! Look! Look! Look, there's Joey's picture! This is so exciting!"

Chandler: "You can always spot someone who's never seen one of his plays before. Notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom."

Ross pulls a notice out from his program.

Ross: "Look, the role of 'Man #3' will not be played by Vic Shapiro. Well, we came on the wrong night."

Monica: "I can't believe I forgot to bring a magazine."

Me: "Come on, you guys. This might be good."

Phoebe: "I don't know. The exclamation point in the title scares me. Y'know, it's not just Freud, it's Freud!"

Then, the lights begin to dim.

Ross: "Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen."

The lights onstage brighten to reveal Joey in a Freud costume as a woman lies across from him on a couch.

Joey: *German accent* "Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is quite clear.

All you want is a dingle

What you envy's a schwang

A thing through which you can tinkle

Or play with, or simply let hang

Joey then starts a goofy dance, and I hold back my laughter out of respect for my friend. However, the smile never left my face, and I could almost swear I caught him glancing at me with a wink. Wait, what?

{Time skip}

We all give Joey and the cast a standing ovation before falling back into our chairs as they head backstage.

Rachel: "God, I feel violated."

Monica: "Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?"

I turn to Chandler, expecting one of his famous sarcastic comments, but his gaze is on a woman sitting in the row across from ours.

Chandler: "Ross, ten o'clock."

Ross: "Is it? Feels like two."

Chandler: "No, ten o'clock."

Ross: "What?"

Chandler: *gestures* "There's a beautiful woman at 8, 9, 10 o'clock."

We all follow his gaze as Ross voices his agreement.

Ross: "Oh, hello."

Chandler: "She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!"

Monica: "Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone."

Chandler: "Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? 'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh'."