New Friends, New Family, New Forever

A Dozen Lasagnas: Part 2/The Candy Hearts: Part 1

Sarah's POV:

Joey and Chandler bring the Gellers and me into their apartment to show off their new table.

Chandler: "So, what do you think?"

Ross: "I think it's the most beautiful table I've ever seen."

It's actually a foosball table.

Monica: "So how does this work, you going to balance the plates on these little guys' heads?"

Joey: "Who cares, we'll eat at the sink. Come on, let's play."

Me: "Dibs on referee."

It's Chandler and Joey vs. the Gellers, and in one single move, Monica wins for their team.

Monica: "Score!-*to Chandler & Joey*-You suck!"

A few games later, Phoebe comes over to inform us how her talk with Rachel went.

Phoebe: "I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so..."

Me: "We should get over there and see if she's okay. You coming, Mon?"

Monica: "Yeah, just one second."

Monica scores another goal, high-fives Ross, and follows Phoebe and me into her apartment. When we get there, we watch from the living room as Rachel empties Paolo's suitcases over the balcony. Then, Ross walks into the apartment to find out what's happening.

Ross: "How's it going?"

Monica: "Don't stare. She just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving."

Rachel waves her arms in front of her chest.

Monica: "Ok, that is either, 'How could you?' or, 'Enormous breasts!' Here he comes!"

Paolo walks into the room towards the front door.

Paolo: "I am, uh, to say goodbye."

Phoebe: "Ok, bye-bye!"

Monica: "Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel-*hands him a lasagna*-but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles."

Paolo: "Grazie."

Ross holds the door open for him and slams it in his face, but this isn't over. I nod towards the balcony for Ross to check on Rachel, and he nods in understanding while I walk out to catch up with Paolo.

Me: "Paolo, hang on. Look, I get that you thought what you were doing was harmless."

Paolo dons a smile, but I hold a finger up.

Me: "However, those girls are like the sisters I never had. You harassed one and broke the other's heart. So, as their legal counsel, I suggest you hold tight to that lasagna."

Paolo looks confused before I give him a left hook to his nose and hand him a tissue for the possible nosebleed.

Me (Translation): "Buona vita, coglione." (Have a nice life, jerk.)

Paolo groans as he staggers off to the staircase, revealing Chandler and Joey standing in the doorway to their apartment with shocked faces.

Joey: "Whoa! Nice left hook!"

Chandler: "Did Mom teach you that?"

Me: "Nope. Dad did. Said I'd better be prepared to put up a fight for those who see you as a toy rather than a woman."

Joey: "Is that what you did to Henry?"

Me: "No, I went a little more down South in his case."

Joey laughs when we suddenly hear Ross yelling from the girls' apartment and rush in to see what's happened.

Guys & I: "What is it?

Ross: "I'm having a boy!"

The three of us cheer in excitement. When Monica asks why my hand looks sore, Joey places an arm around my shoulder and explains what I did with a proud smile. Everyone else is surprised, but Rachel pulls me into the tightest hug of my life and thanks me. What can I say? When it comes to family, I do what it takes to defend, protect, and cheer them up when needed.

{Skipping to 'TOW the Candy Hearts' since I don't see Sarah's presence having any significant changes in the other episode}

Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and all of us girls are single without a plan. However, Phoebe has plans to go on a date with her ex-boyfriend Roger, much to Monica and Rachel's discontent.

Rachel: "Pheebs, don't you remember why you dumped the guy?"

Phoebe: "'Cause he was creepy, and mean, and a little frightening... alright, still, it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day!"

Monica: "But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do."

Rachel: *to Chandler & Joey* "Well, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?"

Joey: "Actually, tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes."

Chandler: "Oh, uh, listen, about tonight-"

Joey: "No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend."

Chandler: "Yes, I know, but her friend sounds like such a-"

Joey: "Pathetic mess? I know but-Come on, man. She's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching!"

Rachel throws a roll at Joey, so he picks it up and eats it.

Joey: "Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doing this."

Ross walks over to us from the counter.

Ross: "She said yes."

Chandler: "Yes! Way to go, man!"

Chandler goes to hug Ross, but something crunches from inside Ross' pocket.

Chandler: "Still got the egg, huh?"

Ross: "Yep."

TO BE CONTINUED