New Friends, New Family, New Forever

The Giant Poking Device

Sarah's POV:

Phoebe, Chandler, Ross, and I are hanging out at Monica & Rachel's apartment as Rachel offers us a plate of brownies.

Rachel: "Here you go, Pheebs. Who else wants one of my special homemade brownies?"

Me: "Ooh, yes, please."

Chandler: "I will have one."

Chandler, Ross, & I each take a brownie off the plate. As Phoebe bites into hers, she spits it out and screams.

Chandler: "Ok, I'm not gonna have one."

Ross: "Neither will I."

Chandler & Ross put their brownies back on the plate.

Phoebe: "No, no, it's just my tooth."

Chandler: "All right, I'll have one."

Ross & Chandler each take another brownie.

Ross: "So, what's the matter, you need a dentist? I've got a good one."

Phoebe: "No thanks. I have a good one, too. I just--I-I can't see him."

Chandler: "See, that is the problem with invisible dentists. Y'know, it's very unsettling to see all those metal tools just y'know...flying around."

Me: "Why? Why can't you go to him?"

Phoebe: "Because every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies."

Chandler: "That is so weird because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienist's blouse."

Rachel: "Phoebe, what? Umm...what?!"

Phoebe: "Yeah, yeah, first there was my aunt Mary, and then there was umm, John, my mailman, and then my, my cowboy friend 'Albino Bob'."

Me: "And all these people actually died?"

Phoebe: "Yes, while I was in the chair! That's why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know; it's not about oral hygiene; I floss to save lives!"

Ross: "Pheebs, come on, you didn't kill anybody. These people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. It's--It's--It's just, uh, a coincidence."

Phoebe: "Well, tell that to them. Oh! You can't. They're dead."

{Time skip}

Monica, Joey, and I rush into Central Perk to tell everyone else what we saw at Mattress King.

Joey: "Hey, is-is-is Chandler here?"

Ross: "No, no, he's not."

Monica: "You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband."

Ross: "What?-*to Joey*-So what are you going to do? I mean, how, how are you going to tell Chandler?"

Joey: "Well, I was thinking about that and I-I think the best way would be to not."

Me: "Wait, what?"

Rachel: "Joey, you can't keep this to yourself. If you know about this, you have to tell him."

Joey: "It'll kill him. I mean, it'll--it'll just kill him."

Phoebe: "Well, you could wait 'til I go to the dentist. Maybe I'll kill him."