You and I [A Bensler Fanfiction]

Four

Olivia was physically shaking when she walked into the squadroom. She had continued to cry on the elevator ride and was barely composed by the time the doors opened. Olivia tried her hardest to be invisible as she walked to her desk, but her new partner, Amanda Rollins, was just waiting for her.

"Good morning, Benson," Amanda smiled, as Olivia sank down into her desk chair.

"Morning," Olivia whispered, her voice shaking. She quickly reached for a tissue as Amanda watched her closely.

"Is everything okay?" Amanda asked, her voice dropping to almost a whisper.

"Y-yeah, everything is fine," Olivia lied, her lips moving into a shaky smile.

"No-"

"Please, Amanda. I just need some time to focus on what I'm feeling, and I'll proceed from there," Olivia replied coldly.

"Okay, but if you need me. Just tell me," Amanda replied gently. Olivia nodded slowly as she turned on her computer.

///

The morning proceeded slowly, and by lunchtime, Olivia had to get out of the station house. Olivia had made plans after seeing Elliot to spend her lunch hour with her mother. She was the only one in her life currently that knew about Elliot and the effect he had on her. Serena was the only one to know how much Olivia loved Elliot, and still does... no matter how hard she tries to fight those feelings.

"You look exhausted, love. Did the boys keep you up again last night?" Serena asked, as she passed her daughter a mug of steaming hot coffee.

"I woke up to them kicking me in their sleep, if that tells you anything," Olivia sighed. She poured cream and two sugars into her coffee before taking a sip from her mug.

"Something else is happening, Olivia. Wanna tell me?" Serena mused, her head tilting to the side. She knew her daughter better than even Keith did, and something was very much off with her child right now. 

"Mama-"

"No, Olivia. You gotta tell me, okay? I don't want you shutting down again," Serena frowned. She had watched her little girl go from a head-over-heels in love teenager to a depressed college student. Then again, she watched as her daughter struggled through a divorce with the first man that made her feel special, like Elliot once did.

As Serena thought about everything, when she thought about Elliot, she knew what was happening.

"You saw him, didn't you?" Serena questioned. 

"W-who?"

"You know who, Liv. You saw Elliot Stabler." 

Olivia nodded as tears burned her eyes once again. Seeing Elliot freaked her out, especially since after all these years, she still hadn't stopped loving him. 

"I was getting a coffee this morning as a reward for not hurting Keith, and that is when I saw him. He called me Liv, and he touched my cheeks and told me I was beautiful... I think he has a kid, if not a bunch of them since he was talking on the phone when I first heard his voice. I didn't realize it was his voice..." Olivia rambled. She stopped herself before she cried and babble.

"Did you like seeing him?"

"Seeing him just made me more confused, Mom. Like the love of my life was standing there in front of me. He touched me and I felt the same tingles as before. I'm not ready to have him back in my life," Olivia whimpered.

"Why aren't you ready?"

"I've only been single since March of this year! Keith still drives me nuts, and I'm certain he'd throw a fit if I brought Elliot around, even if it's just a friend. Anyway, Elliot is probably married and has tons of kids. He may have been surprised when he saw me, and regrets asking me for my number. I don't he'll-" Olivia stopped herself when her phone buzzed.

She looked at it in horror, before shoving it towards her mother.

"Liv!"

"P-please look at it! I don't want to see whoever sent me a text!" Olivia cried.

Serena nodded slowly and picked up her daughter's phone. She typed in the password before going into the messages app.

"Hey, Olivia. It's Elliot Stabler. I never gave you my number, so I thought I'd send you a text. Please call me when you are ready, because I have missed you so much. I can postpone my return home until the morning if you'd like to meet up tonight and talk. Okay, uh, I will wait for your response," Serena read the text out loud.

Olivia looked at her mother in shock.

"He's gotta be lying. He doesn't want to see me, Mom-"

"Yes, he does. That is why he said it. So, why don't I watch Jackson and Landon tonight? You can go out with Elliot and see what you have been missing!"

"I can't see what I've been missing because he's married, Mom!"

"I really doubt it, Olivia. Especially if he told you that you were beautiful. That he touched your face and-" Serena spoke, but Olivia interrupted her.

"I will prove you wrong, mother," Olivia huffed. She took the phone from her mother and quickly typed in a message to Elliot. Once she sat the phone down, she realized what her mother did.

"You tricked me into seeing if he's married or not! God, I hate you," Olivia grumbled.

///

Elliot was just filling up his car before heading back to Virginia when his phone buzzed. He unlocked it and expected to see a message from Christine or even his daughter, yet it was from Olivia. She had agreed to dinner tonight, and even gave him a place and a time.

Elliot quickly sent back a thumbs up and regretted it the moment he did. He was too eager, and so very excited to see Olivia. Ever since that day she walked away from him, he had wanted to contact her. He fought the want to propose to her and just take her all over the world with him. 

"Hey, Christine. I just thought I'd call and tell you I'm going to be home after midnight. An old friend asked to eat dinner together, and I can't say no. Tell Avery that I love her and will see her before school in the morning," Elliot smiled, before ending the call.