You and I [A Bensler Fanfiction]

Eight

On Friday, after Avery got out of school, Elliot headed back to Manhattan. His little girl sat in her booster seat, singing at the top of her lungs to whatever song played on her personal playlist. Elliot was excited to spend a weekend with Avery, but especially excited to see Olivia. He was hoping that she had changed her mind about her ex-husband and would want to be with him instead.

"So are we staying with Gran and Papa?" Avery asked as Elliot turned on his blinker.

"Yes, ma'am. Gran and Papa have your room all made up, and they are making your favorite dinner too," Elliot smiled, as he glanced at his daughter through the review mirror.

"Pizza!" Avery exclaimed, and Elliot chuckled and nodded.

"Pizza."

When Elliot pulled into his parents' driveway, his mother was waiting on the front porch for them. Usually when Elliot comes home to visit, it's during the week and Avery can't join him. So this time around, his parents were more excited than ever before.

Avery got herself out of her booster seat once the car was parked, and she was out and running towards Bernie in record time. Elliot could hear his daughter tell his mother about everything and anything she could think of, and it made him smile. He did almost everything for Avery, but this trip was for both of them.

"How was your drive, El?" Bernie asked her son, as he walked towards them. He was carrying his duffle bag and a small purple suitcase.

"It was good. My co-pilot kept me entertained," Elliot smiled. He leaned down and pecked his mother's cheek before ruffling Avery's curls.

"Can we eat some pizza, Gran?" Avery asked as she stared up at her grandmother.

"You are so much like your father, Avery. But yes, let's eat some pizza," Bernie smiled.

///

After dinner, Avery passed out. She had been at school all day, let alone the drive, so Elliot got some time alone to talk with his parents. He came downstairs after laying his daughter down and smiled when he saw his mother on the couch. She lifted the blanket that covered her lap before patting the cushion beside her.

"Come join me, El."

"Yes, ma'am. Let me just get something to drink first," Elliot replied.

Elliot returned with a bottle of water and his father. Elliot sat beside his mother and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, before tugging her close and kissing her almost completely white hair.

"So what did we do to see you so soon?" Joseph asked as he leaned back in his recliner. Elliot sighed softly before looking at his father.

"Christine said it would be a good idea to come back so you and Ma-"

"The truth, son," Joseph replied. Elliot blushed slightly since he knew what his parents may say when he brought her up.

"I saw Olivia Benson when I was in town a few days ago... I told Christine about her, and she said that maybe I should bring Avery and come back to town to see Olivia. So that is why I'm here," Elliot spoke.

"Olivia Benson? The sweetest girl you've ever dated?" Bernie asked, as she turned to face her son. Elliot nodded slowly as he ran a hand over his face.

"Yes, the one that got away. I saw her when I was at a coffeehouse, and she looks amazing. Still the most beautiful woman I have laid eyes on..." Elliot trailed off as his cheeks grew hot with embarrassment.

"Son, I'm sure she's probably married and happy. She was a catch, and you let her go," Joseph sighed. Elliot shook his head.

"No, Pops. She's actually divorced. She has two sons, Jackson and Landon... but the problem is that her ex-husband seems to be very involved. Like, I think I may have been too forward, and I scared her back into bed with him," Elliot frowned, his heart aching. He hated that he decided to tell Olivia exactly how he felt, and that he was the reason she ended up fucking Keith.

"Gonna go see her tonight?" Joseph asked, his eyes closed and his arms crossed behind his head.

"Po-"

"We can listen for Avery, love. Go see her."

///

Olivia wiped her hands off on a dish towel after finishing the dishes. She looked around her kitchen and groaned when she saw a puddle of milk on the floor underneath the kitchen table. She walked over and used the towel to clean it up, but got little further than that when the doorbell rang. Olivia jumped and smack her head on the table, a string of swear words leaving her mouth.

"What?" Olivia huffed, as she swung open her front door. She had a hand resting against the top of her head, and her eyes went wide when she realized who stood there in front of her.

"Hey, Liv. I'm sorry if this is a bad time..." Elliot trailed off, as he gave her a nervous smile. Olivia's hand dropped, and she swallowed hard.

"Um, I don't know if it's a good or bad time. What are you doing here?"

"I brought my little girl into town for the weekend so she can see my parents... I told them about seeing you again, and they insisted I saw you tonight."

Olivia sighed before stepping back and letting Elliot into her home. She shut the front door before moving back into the kitchen. Elliot followed closely and took a shaky breath as Olivia retrieved the milk soaked towel from under the table.

"Olivia-"

"Do you honestly love me? Think about me all the time?" Olivia demanded, as she turned to face Elliot.

"I was honest with you the other night, Liv. No matter how far apart we have been, when was the last time we talked, or what happened the night we graduated... I will always love and care about you. I will always think about how life would have been if we were married and those boys were mine... and if Avery was yours," Elliot breathed.

"My life is a dumpster fire, Elliot. I work long hours, come home to a house that my ex can't be bothered to help clean, and to little boys who have Keith as their male role model... I was cheated on and treated like shit for years, and now Keith-"

"You are dating Keith again. I'm sorry that I even-"

"Why in the world would you assume that I'm dating Keith?!" Olivia demanded, her voice growing loud and pitchy.

"Well-"

"Well, what?!"

"I came over the morning after our date, or whatever it was. Keith answered the door and your lipstick was on his skin, and his neck was bruised with hickies. Liv-"

"I felt horrible about walking away from you again and not being able to open myself up for something good. So I fucked him. I wanted to feel something, and now I'm terrified that the next thing I'll be feeling is morning sickness for the next sixteen fucking weeks. I'm never getting back together with him, and I honestly don't know if I deserve to be with you, either."