Rêveries

Chapter 16.

We went to bed way too late after talking and then we had to wake up this early. When the alarm fills the room at 8AM, Evie and I both groan and whine until we're out of bed. The first thing I do is rip off the stupid "gauze-paws" Charles put on me last night. We get into the bathroom and we both do our makeup in silence. None of us are morning people so there's this silent agreement to not talk until we feel it's necessary.

I put on a black miniskirt with the smallest slit on my right leg and then matched it with a black tank top that had a mesh stomach. I brought a light blue button-up shirt to throw over my shoulder if it's cold. I leave my hair down and I wait for Evie to get ready. She's in a yellow, floral mini skirt and has matched it with a short sleeved, yellow cardigan where she left the bottom buttons open to show some of her stomach.

Today we're the last ones to sit down at breakfast. All the drivers are gathered around three tables. We go to sit down with Seb, Lewis, Valtteri, Daniel, Kimi, Fernando and Romain who are considered the older generation of Formula 1. That basically just means that they all were there to see my brother die, but that's besides the point. Fernando, by the way, refuses to accept the fact that he's the oldest driver on the grid and just keeps joking with us as if we were from the same generation. He's "cool."

Seb asked me about seeing me dragged down the hallway and I told him the story. Daniel, Lewis, Evie and I tell them all about last night and they laugh probably just to be kind, except Fernando, he looked to be actually enjoying the story, but the four of us kept laughing like crazy.

Charles comes over to look at my hands and Seb tells him to stop being such an 'older brother' and to leave that up to the older guys around the table. Charles laughs awkwardly and tells him that he's just trying to save his own ass because Pascale won't like to see that I did something that made me hurt myself. Seb tells me that sounds exactly like what a brother would do.

"Be the best friend, be the boyfriend, I don't care," he says as he shakes his head and pushes Charles away from my hands, "But don't be the brother."

Charles agrees and then tells me to meet him by the car in ten minutes. I agree and then continue to talk to the guys. Kimi even talks to us this time. He tells me about a memory he had with Jules, it was brief, but it was something. It felt good hearing people talk about him and remember him so fondly. Fernando keeps making jokes about him and it feels nice to know people refuse to talk to him and joke about him just because I'm here and just because he's gone. He would hate to hear that people only mention him to praise him. He liked to be joked about, it made other people laugh.

After ten minutes we all started getting ready to go to the race. Arthur had to leave much earlier than us, since he's racing before Charles so it was just me and him in the car. We parked and just like Arthur did, Charles made me walk through the hoard of fans with him. He took pictures with me and he kept me beside him as he signed stuff and as we walked away from the fans to go inside he nudged me.

"Mieux vaut s'y habituer maintenant," Better get used to it now, he says with a smirk. I shrug him off and just scan my paddock pass and look around for Evie the second I get onto the paddock. I start to walk away from Charles but he grabs my arm and pulls me with him towards his garage.

"Ne sois pas le frère," Don't be the brother, I whine as he drags me along with him.

"Tu sais que je ne suis pas le frère," You know I'm not the brother, he says with a chuckle as he moves behind me to start pushing me instead of dragging. "Je suis le meilleur ami qui veut que tu regardes ma course," I'm the best friend who wants you to watch my race.

"C'est dans cinq heures," That's in five hours, I tell him as he keeps his hands on my shoulders to push me along. "Vous n'avez rien à faire?" Don't you have things to do?

"Ne veux-tu pas traîner avec moi?" Don't you want to hang out with me? he asks and I sigh, turning to him as we get into his garage. I tilt my head to the side.

"Si je me souviens bien, j'étais avec toi toute la nuit dernière," If I remember correctly, I was with you all evening yesterday, I point out.

"Tu étais avec Evie toute la nuit," You were with Evie all night, he says and I stare at him for a solid ten seconds before I mock his words back to him.

"Tu ne veux pas de moi ici, tu ne veux pas que je dérange Christian Horner," You don't want me here, you just don't want me to annoy Christian Horner.

"Ou n'importe qui chez Ferrari, je veux un siège, Cece," Or anyone at Ferrari, I want a seat, Cece, he whines, grabbing my arms and locking his eyes with mine, "S'il vous plaît, s'il vous plaît, s'il vous plaît, je vous supplie d'être aussi normal que possible jusqu'à ce que je sache qu'il n'y a aucune chance pour moi chez Ferrari cette saison prochaine," Please, please, please, I'm begging you to be as normal as possible until I know there's no chance for me at Ferrari next season.

I look at his pleading puppy dog eyes for a moment and then sigh loudly to show how unhappy I am about it, but I nod. It's his dream as much as it was Jules' dream to sign with Ferrari in F1, and if Charles has a chance at doing it then I don't want to be in the way of that in any way.

"D'accord, puis-je aller trouver Evie maintenant? j'ai des plans qui ne vous causeront pas d'ennuis," Fine, can I go find Evie now? I have plans that won't get you in trouble, I tell him. He lets go of my arms and puts his hand on the back of my head, pulling it to his lips and he kisses the top of my head before smiling and sending me off again with a light thank you.

I walk towards the Red Bull garage and I try to act as normal as possible, but my whole body feels disoriented after that. Once again, I am cursing myself for letting my mind do this to me.

Evie is talking to Max in the back of the Red Bull garage and I sit down to join them, looking down at Max's hands. I remember he also got scratches and that Charles said he'd help him take care of the wounds.

"Did he gauze-paw you too?" I ask and Max folds his lips into a line and silently nods.