Rêveries

Chapter 38.

What keeps me from running head first into this with Charles, is because I can't sleep. It makes me lie there, thinking. I want to, but It's not like we know what we're doing. We're not going to be here forever. I have my dancing and he has his racing. As soon as we get back home, our schedules will be packed again. We don't know what to do with the media or fans if this were to become something. He just broke up with Lucie and the fans don't even know yet, so chances are they're going to hate me if I get close to him. We don't know how to eventually tell people. I barely get to spend time with him alone. We need to be enjoying each other's company and trying to work some feelings out. We need to be able to actually be with each other.

God, if I met someone in Sweden, I wouldn't even have to hesitate, no one would ever question it. They wouldn't ask how I'm supposed to hide it or how I plan on dealing with people sharing their opinions all over the internet. But here I am and somehow I need to just accept that these are the things I need to plan before choosing whether or not to go for it with Charles. It comes with being with him.

I can't choose to only be with Charles as the guy I grew up with and know in and out. Because Charles Leclerc, F1 driver, drives on TV for 9-10 months out of a year, comes along as a package deal. I need to consider whether or not the one is worth the other.

Lorenzo came to Alassio the morning of the babyshower. He greeted us all as he arrived during breakfast. He was good friends with Pierre's brothers since they're all a bit older than the rest of us, so he was quickly engulfed in talking to the brothers.

"In che squadra sei?" What team are you on? Charles asks me during breakfast. I shrug and then I think about it for a bit. I know Paul's wife wants a girl, but there's only one nephew so far, so I think the brothers want a boy. The mother wants a girl though, so...

"Ragazza, la madre vuole una ragazza," Girl, the mother wants a girl, I say before drinking from my glass of peach juice. Charles just nods without another word, so I finish my glass and bring my dishes back into the kitchen before going to get ready.

I finish my makeup in the small bathroom connected to my room and go out to find something to wear. Choosing a pink plaid minidress. I grab a cropped, pink cardigan and wear it over my shoulders. When I come back out, there are blue and pink balloons everywhere and there's a big table with a cake and cupcakes alternating between the two colors. I see Paul and Charlotte, his wife, dressed in different colors. She's in a long pink dress and he is wearing a blue shirt with his light pants.

Arthur is dressed in blue along with Pierre and Evie, who I guess was forced by Pierre. Charles is standing by Evie and Pierre. He's in a light pink, short-sleeved button down shirt with the top few buttons undone paired with some khaki shorts. Dear god. Pull yourself together, Céline.

I walk over to the table to grab a cupcake before heading over to the three of them. They're arguing about the baby. Evie uses myths like whether the baby is placed low or high and what kind of cravings Charlotte has had. The boys just repeat their opinions with no ground.

"Hi, you look pretty," Evie says when she sees me.

"Hi, you look prettier," I tell her with a smile but she just waves dismissively.

"Tell Charles he needs to learn how to argue, he just keeps saying it's a girl but he has no ground for it," She shakes her head.

"Well... Evie... maybe I just want it to be a girl?" He says with a shrug, taking my cupcake from my hand, taking a bite before giving it back. I stare at him blankly and then I turn to Pierre, because I don't know how he has the patience to listen to these two. He just shakes his head, taking the rest of my cupcake from me.