Rêveries

Chapter 17.

Pascale picked me up outside the hotel after I had said goodbye to Charles, Arthur and Evie. It was painful leaving them when I knew I wouldn't see them for over a month. Five long weeks, just waiting for them. Evie would be home sooner, but it would be just Pascale and me in the house for quite a long time. Lorenzo came home a few times, but he's with Arthur a lot while racing, but still manages to get some more time off than they do. He has his own place in Monaco, of course, and only came over for dinner every now and then.

To pass the time, Pascale and I played a lot of tennis, we went on walks and on hikes. She showed me Charles' favorite trail, saying I'd better get used to walking it because he'd most likely take me on it in the mornings when he comes home.

She got me a teacher to teach me some golf, since all of them play and it would be fun if I could join them when they go out to play. It wasn't as boring as expected and it was definitely harder than I had thought. I did get quite good, though.

Pascale and I went out to eat every now and then and we found a place that we liked better than the others. When my parents came down for the weekend we all ate there. Lorenzo also joined us for that meal and we had quite a good time even though I felt tense about having my parents there, asking me questions as if it was a police interrogation. They asked me if Daniel was taking care of me, asked me about Seb and then they asked me about Evie, making sure we're not bringing hellfire on the others when we're together.

They came down to Monaco to see me, but also to leave flowers at Jules' grave on July 17th. I barely came out of my room that day, but I did leave flowers there later that night. They also forced me to sit through dinner with them and I sat there in silence. Evie called me and she made me stay on FaceTime with her for most of the day, claiming that she was fed up with the boys, which might've been partially true but I also think that she just tried to distract me. Charles and Arthur also called to check on me. No one mentioned what the day was, but they all still wanted to check on me, because we all still knew what day it was. Daniel sent me a selfie of him and Seb touching Lewis' rear wing and joked about getting fined, but I don't think it ended as a joke. They're serious about these things.

When my parents left, they said they wanted me to come home later in the summer and they made it clear that they want me to keep studying and make something of myself. Of course, that's always been my plan too, but I don't feel like I want the first thing I do when I finish school is to do more school. I have plenty of time to continue my studies in a couple years. I can still make money myself, it's not like I intend to live off of everyone else until I get a degree.

I got myself a dance teacher who I could schedule private sessions with, since I don't want to dance with a class that has a consistent schedule. I plan on traveling to a lot of the races when they let me so I don't know if I'll be able to set days where I have to be home for dance class. Instead I found someone who I could schedule when I have the time and energy to actually dance.

The first sessions with her I began to realize how out of shape I've been for the last three to four years since I stopped. It was too tough to continue dancing after Jules' crash and I didn't pick it up in Sweden even though I said I would. Now, I'm trying to get all my old techniques and knowledge back and I spend a lot of time in the dance studio, sometimes with my teacher and sometimes I rent it for an hour to practice by myself. I don't expect to get back into competing, since I don't have enough time to fully get into it competitively, but maybe some competition every here and there just for fun.

Evie is back in Monaco and she's mostly staying with me and Pascale for the summer. Max will be home soon but we want as much time with each other as we can. Pascale starts working again soon and Max is going home to see their parents so we're just going to be each other's company. I feel like she needs a break from being around all boys for so long.

The first few days we're together we spend at the beach. We tan together, we try to learn badminton since tennis isn't that hard. We go to the tennis court a lot too. We help Pascale in the kitchen when she gets off of work and we spend time just reading in the shadow under a tree in the backyard. In the evenings, we'd watch movies or TV-shows with bowls of popcorn. She showed me a movie she watched with Lewis and we both cried at the end of it. Those damn lasagnas broke our hearts more than any guy will ever be able to. We threw popcorn at the screen, cursing the producer for making such a sad movie. I also showed her some of mine and Jules' favorite movies that we watched.

I took her to one of my dance practices and we both loved dancing together. We had never actually danced together, only been at the same competitions for different categories. Evie told me she had a framed picture of our first competition together in Spain and she has it on her nightstand. I told her she needs to get me a copy of that. The teacher told us it was a shame none of us kept dancing because we had potential but we're both so busy now. It's not even for ourselves, it's for her brother and my closest friends, but I'm not upset about having to sacrifice dancing professionally to go to the races. The paddock is where I feel at home, I'm comfortable and I feel good because it feels like I'm connected to Jules somehow. He loved it there and now I've grown to love it too. Besides, all the people I care about are there.