Criminal Minds: Danika

Rossi

I get to the BAU only to find some fancy car in my spot. I huff as I park my bike somewhere else and open the stranger's car door. I get inside and it's nice and clean. It smells of leather and money.

Luckily I find the keys under the visor. I start the engine and smirk to myself as I take off out of the parking lot.

Whoever's this dumb to leave the keys in their car deserves whatever happens to them.

I take off and speed around the corner to test the car out to see what it can do. I go down some busy roads to see how fast I can change lanes. It's a fast ride and it seems to handle quick sharp turns quite well.

Once I'm done with the joy ride I get back to the building and park the car in a different spot. I take my bike and put it in my spot and then head inside.

I walk into the office and bullpen only to see everyone looking up at Hotch's office. I smirk remembering the prank I put in his closet last night.

I go over and watch on my laptop as Hotch opens the closet door and is met with a giant 3 foot dildo stuck on the inside of the door. I also hid a few cameras and microphones inside his office for the perfect angle to watch as well as listen to.

I smirk as he gets an annoyed look on his face and then I see someone else next to him and just know this is going to be good. I close my laptop and a few minutes later we're called in the conference room. Hotch gives me a sharp glare but I shrug, acting like I don't know what he's mad about.

JJ comes in to show us the case and turns the screen on. Instead of a PowerPoint of the case flickering onto the screen, a video of Hotch trying to detach a giant dildo from his door starts playing.

"Maybe if I hold the door and you pull." I hear the mystery guy offer his help.

Derek starts cracking up as Hotch tries to turn the video off. The mystery man enters the room and sees the video and looks completely flustered. Finally Hotch just unplugs the entire screen from the wall out of frustration and I chuckle.

Emily just looks at me in shock and JJ is trying her best not to laugh. Reid looks perplexed by something and I can only guess it's how I got a giant dildo in the building, and into Hotch's office with out anyone noticing.

"The fuck are you?" I casually ask the new guy as I turn around.

He has dark brown hair and a shaven face, but part of me thinks he'd look much better with a beard.

"This is Agent Rossi, he's joining our team." Hotch says staring me down, I scoff thinking he's joking.

"Nice to meet you." Rossi says as he goes over to greet me and I roll my eyes.

Before anyone can say anything, Anderson walks into the room, looking sheepish with a paper in his hands.

"What is it?" Hotch asks clearly not in the mood for any bad news.

"Uh, is agent Rossi here?" Anderson asks.

"Present." Rossi says.

"Right, nice to meet you sir, wish it could be under better circumstances. The police told me to give you this." Anderson says and hands him an expensive looking ticket.

"What? $30,000 for speeding? Reckless endangerment? Illegal u-turn, running a stop sign? Running a red light? Speeding? This has to be a mistake I didn't do any of these things!" Rossi states confused and Hotch looks over at me.

"I'll handle it Dave, probably some misunderstanding." Hotch says and Derek snickers, knowing me all too well.

"You sure I don't need to call a lawyer?" Rossi asks.