Dead Fighter

11. Exhausted and Sad

Flashback (part 2)

*Rens woke up alone and a killer headache. So she decided to go take a shower hoping it would help. Little did she know she have a surprise afterwards*

^Trigger: Sex and talk of abuse (etc)^

*Loud slam noise coming from in yonder*

Me: *freezes in nothing but a bra and underwear* I am going to die...

*Man voice and cursing*

Me: *whispers* W-what if it's Keldren?What if it ain't? *Puts a shirt on and eases down the hallway quietly grabbing the metal bat from Mer's room and walks in the dining room looking around the living and dining room with it in my hands ready to swing*

*Refrigerator door shuts in the kitchen*

Me: *walks in there quietly with a grip on the bat end and swings*

K: *ducks then grabs the bat before it hits him* IT'S ME MIRA! IT'S ME!
Me: *breathes heavily* I-I'm sorry! I-I was scared!
K: It's ok, I'm not mad just didn't want my brains splattered on the wall. Who did you think was in here though?
Me: Well I thought I was alone and you...left me. So I took a shower and heard loud noise! I thought I don't know a crackhead broke in or I DON'T KNOW MAYBE KELDREN!?
K: *looks at me* You was going to hit Keldren with a bat?
Me: Maybe
K: Then what? Not stop? What would you have done?
Me: I would have got him down and probably beat him to death or maybe called you...I don't know, I was scared he found out about me getting drunk and trying to get you to fuck me. He would have hit me! He would have forced me down calling me a whore and make me feel the pain he left me between my legs! I don't want to fuck him Kailer! *goes to the couch and sits down holding my head*
K: *comes and sits beside me* Mia...
Me: At first I wanted a relationship with him but now, I don't want him anymore. I'm scared of him. I don't trust him anymore. He was always like a brother but now I don't know who he is! *cries* I never wanted to have sex with him. I didn't feel like it with him. He cheats on me, hurts me, I turned out like my mama. I got with someone like Riff. He makes me feel nasty and I want to do what he does to me. I need to feel clean from him. I need someone I trust to help me out. I need to lose the pain...

*Rens and Kailer sat there for 10 minutes in silence. He listened to hear cry. He wanted to help her. He knew she felt like a whore because she wanted to cheat on him back. He wanted her to feel loved and he knew she wasn't. He wanted to protect her so bad*

K: *slowly places a hand on my cheek* Fuck Keldren. He doesn't deserve you. *Kisses me deeply and puts his tongue in my mouth*
Me: *matches his energy*
K: I'll protect you *climbs on top of me* you still want to?
Me: yes *takes off his shirt and kisses him* I want you, it's just me and you right now. He can call me a whore, I don't care. He cheated multiple times first so I'm for revenge.
K: Me and you *starts undressing me and finishes undressing himself and starts kissing me* We can stop anytime okay?
Me: I know but I want you badly *kisses him again*
K: *pushes all of himself in me*
Me: *gasps against his lips* K-Kailer...
K: Want me to stop?
Me: Please no, please don't be gentle. I'll be okay just for me please
K: *nods and lifts one of my legs up around him and pulls out before slamming in me and keeps slamming*
Me: *moans and grips his hair*
K: *grips the couch arm and keeps slamming in me* Fuck princess, you feel amazing
Me: *bites his neck moaning louder*
K: *lifts me up more and starts slowing down*
Me: Kailer please don't slow down. I wanna be yours, I only want this with you. Please I'm begging you...
K: I feel bad, going rough when he forces you. I want to do this but I feel like I'm hurting you.
Me: *cries* please Kailer! What can't you love me?! This is me now! I'm giving you permission!
K: *pulls out and sits down* Mia, I'm sorry. I love you, I do. I swear I do. Stop crying, I'm sorry! *Lifts me on his lap* stop crying
Me: I need it!
K: straddle me
Me: W-what?
K: Straddle me, you want this? You want me to be rough?
Me: yes but-
K: *grips my throat* I said straddle me now fucking listen princess
Me: *bites lip and nods* Yes sir *straddles him*
K: *pushes me down hard and starts moving my hips fast*
Me: *moans and holds his shoulder* Oh God!
K: Hold my shoulder and start bouncing I'll help you
Me: *does it and bites lip* Kailer, Oh my God!
K: *holds my neck and thrusts up in me and doesn't stop* Such a good girl you are
Me: *looks at him* please harder
K: *thrusts harder and kisses me*
Me: *kisses back while shaking*
K: I don't have a condom on so I-
Me: I don't care, I'm close and I want you to fill me up
K: oh okay *kisses me deeply*
Me: *starts trembling and trying to hold onto him*
K: *releases then keeps my hips riding him slowly*
Me: *breathes fast and heavily against his neck* That was-amazing...

*Rens used sex to escape and still does. Rens was 15 at this moment and her life got more complicated at this time too*

^Sex can be used as self harm just in case y'all didn't know that^

End of Flashback

My puppy must love me very much because everywhere I go, he has to be able to see me or he'll cry loudly. He has to be with me 24/7. He gets so fucking excited when he sees me if I live him with his grandfather for a couple minutes. When I go to feed him, he knows mommy is making his food. He does a happy dance waiting for his food.

I feel like I'm about to throw up again. I'm becoming very sleepy so I might go to bed soon, I really don't feel very well at all. I dozed off trying to finish a TikTok and everything was messing up. I was killing my phone. It ended up on 29% before I plugged it up. I finished that TikTok though. It's raining now and I'm tryna get Caspian to cuddle me.

Caspian ate my one phone charger so right now it has medical tape around it. I had to scold him and whip my baby. He gave me sad eyes and went in his cage so now I'm going to cry because he gave me sad eyes and I know he had to be taught a lesson.

It's pouring rain and I'm so sleepy yet I'm kinda scared to fall back to sleep, you know? I need sleep!! I already have over a 1,200 words from this point. This says a whole lot! My head is hurting and my nose is stopped up to where I can't breathe. My eyes are like dozing off writing right now so.

Today is a day. I once again been gagging still. I had McDonald's. My teeth still hurts. I also wished I could fucking breathe but that isn't going to work out today either. I want to take a nap so bad but my head is killing me too bad to.

So today I learned that my ex aunt (Ira) is trying to call my brother (RJ) after all the shit she did to my mama! I want nothing to do with her and I hope she better not be my stalker that stalks me a lot because I will be very pissed. I haven't spoke to her in years and I really haven't done shit to her. She abused me and mistreated me my whole life so her being gone actually makes me so fucking happy. Her and her dumbass husband. Fucking alcoholics and druggies. They are narcissistic liars too. If she dates try shit, I'll handle it my way.

Anyways, fuck my aunt Ira. Today has been a day really. Caspian has been clingy to his mommy today and I love it so very much! Thank God for my baby boy, I wouldn't be this happy if it wasn't for my brother and father to get him for me as my birthday gift. It was almost a month later but still.