Dead Fighter

39. I'M BACKKKKK!!!!!

*I'm back from my break and I am caught up*

My New Years Eve Speech Status (12/31/22)

This being the last of 2022...my year has been a shit show. Let me just say it started out terrible and the end isn't all good either. I figured out what kind of "family" I have. They are absolutely the worst and I do excuse like 1 or so in the family but 98% of them I could NOT CARE at all about. I lost my best friend for a day and a half over a dumb reason actually! Don't worry we cool!! Same drama through the whole year and even after I WAS TRYING TO LIVE MY LIFE! They WOULDN'T STOP at all. Lost my step dad...back in May after years of having him in my life. Drama there too. My anxiety and depression got worse and still is. Found out I was going to be an Aunt and even got to do the gender reveal. That was the only good part of Thanksgiving because I hate that holiday. Got new friends and family. Found more confidence in myself. I have been told I "needed help" which I don't because I know what mental illnesses I have. I don't need some fake trying to tell me something that seriously won't help at all or they could hurt me in multiple ways. Been called basically a "gold digger" even though money would be good but IT WASN'T ABOUT THE MONEY AT ALL! It was about my family member they did wrong. I'm sorry you couldn't handle truth but most things y'all found was my past and past is past. I mean stalking me and ruining my comfort of rant and thinking you're "exposing" me over things that I had done to me without me telling my family was wrong of you. I was raised BRUTUALLY HONEST and treating you the same y'all treated me so get over yourselves. I lost my father on Christmas Eve and we came together on Christmas. We buried him yesterday (Dec 30). Fake family there and them talking shit because someone looks different then others and calls us fake. I have proof of the lies y'all spoke. I discovered that I am no one else but myself. Which I'm apparently trying to be like some and I rather not because I know I'm better..that's just yuck. My 2023 will be good because I'm being myself now. My bigender and pansexual self. I have a godkid (and niece) coming and who knows what God has plan..I may end up with my own next year too. P.S. MY LIFE NOT YOURS! I'M NOT TOO YOUNG, I'M 19 AND WILL BE 20 IN 2023!!!!!

1-11-23

I went 12 hours without internet. It came back on but it went back out then came back on. I'm having a terrible fucking day. I'm really upset because I was supposed to be going with mama but she said nevermind and I'm really upset because I wanted to be with her. She came back with a McDonald's caramel coffee...The internet keeps going in and out. FUCKING KILL ME PLEASE! It looks like it is about to fucking storm so you know that will fuck up everything too! I might as well just give the fuck up.

1-12-23

I need to use the bathroom but the one I use, it's leaking so it's not working and the only one left is in Mama's room and they are in there so I have to hold it. My anxiety makes me gotta go to the bathroom. So I finally went to sleep after 1 A.M. Forgot to mention Titus turned 9 on January 6th. Happy Late Birthday Tite! I finally pissed in a toilet. I'm watching Supernatural and going back to bed. Finally got a toilet but gotta be careful using it *rolls eyes* ANYWAYS! I feel so damn sick and belly is killing me! Caspian has a new ball because he broke his other one and was eating it. He also won't stay off me right now and I don't feel good enough to hold him. He dyed his fur pink with a red ink pen he ate and busted so his leg has pink fur on it. HE IS OKAY THOUGH! Perfectly healthy!

1-13-23

My acid reflux is still bad but anyways, yesterday I went to Walmart and that was the 1st time I been out of this house in weeks like the 31st of December was the last time I left. THAT SAYS A LOT!!! I helped my stepbrother with his homework since I'm the only one with patience around here. It was snowing outside and it's supposed to be very cold for days so I don't know if the weather is acting the phones up and internet. I haven't had a good day today at all. I may get off for the rest of the night, I don't fucking know. It's almost midnight (a new day) anyways!

1-14-23

Bre and my brother in law are going to a race so I think I'm just going to read all day or maybe finish my art, I don't fucking know! Sleeping sounds good too! My head has been killing me for days, weeks, I lost count. I'm getting ready to chop my hair off again.