Dead Fighter

50. Storm in the Sun

3-26-23

So my sister almost went to the hospital but didn't. There's a huge chance though that her water is gonna break between today and Tuesday. She is leaking so that means it can literally break ANYTIME NOW! I get to be an Aunt real fucking soon and I can't fucking wait even though I was so damn nervous. I can't go to sleep again until after 10 A.M. and it's 6:02 A.M. I was supposed to wake Bre up at 10 earlier but fell asleep but she wants me to wake her up again so let's see if I can make it to 10. I'm having hot flashes! I'm starting to yawn so you know that it's going to be more difficult for me to stay the fuck awake! I need to wake mama up at 6:30 so she can talk to her boyfriend. Leslie is going to be put into a mental hospital soon because of his actions. He admitted to what happened last May, days before my stepdad's death. We both never got to apologize and I live with regret for what I said in anger. It's all Leslie's fault but Leslie tried doing it again earlier today. Mama's boyfriend walked in on him doing it too so maybe later on I can explain to y'all what I mean but IT'S BAD! It has my sister and brother in law wanting Leslie AWAY from my niece and to be NEVER alone with the baby either. My brother is fighting with mama and comparing her to father WHICH SHE ISN'T! He is having bad time but shouldn't say things that he'll regret later on, trust me.

3-27-23

Bre deserves better than the damn shit she gets! I'll hurt anyone that hurts her! I don't care how our relationship is, she's one person that I was friends with and actually want better for her. Yes, we still are best friends but I'm just saying. My heart hurts for her. How can parents mistreat their child mostly their only child?! Fucking hypocrites!! My sister puked so hard last night/early this morning that she ruptured herself and that's why her water is leaking still. Tomorrow is her appointment so they may induce her tomorrow so that means I may be an Auntie for sure! I'm freezing to death! I feel like complete shitty and I'm hurting badly. I showered then fell asleep freezing and wet headed, woke up to mama. Leslie is at his shit again! He threw rocks on the roof and got Harper running his damn mouth again! Mama and Harper went up the road to get him away from Leslie.

3-28-23

I'm having a bad fucking day already! My god damn service don't wanna work inside the house but I have to go outside so hopefully it will work later! Now TikTok updated their guidelines rules & today was supposed to get rid of my violations well it doesn't show them but it says I'm temporarily banned from posting and commenting! I DON'T KNOW WHY? OR WHEN I CAN POST AND COMMENT AGAIN BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME! I submitted a report because they at least could've said when I could post a damn video or a comment again! So I'm having an extremely bad day! I think I'm being punished by God and don't know why! I need prayers because today may just push me over the damn edge! I wonder what will happen when Mercer goes to her appointment later, I may be an Aunt today or tomorrow! Still have no clue about my TikTok temporary ban shit but my service shows up every once in awhile matters on what positions I'm in or how high and low I hold my phone. I really need to get sleep because there's a VERY HIGH chance I'll be sitting in the hospital waiting area while my sister is having her baby because she's got to tell the doctor about herself leaking and all that so she most likely will be getting induced so I'll update y'all about it when I find out more! So my sister was told that her daughter isn't growing like she should be so I can't say when but in a couple days she is being induced. So I will get to be an Aunt and she doesn't want anyone knowing she's at the hospital or posting on Facebook or any social media that she had my niece so afterwards I'll announce when she was born...prayers though!

■quick! When do you think the baby will be born? Please tell me!!! <3■

3-29-23

I don't know if this day will be like the rest but I just don't feel right at all. I'm freezing and I'm hurting but I don't know if it's my anxiety or what but my phone is being weird but I mean it's possibly the weather it is cold tonight. I hate walking my dog mostly at night because at night weird cracking noises happens but cops keeps driving by me and stalking the house! The cop drive by the other day then turned around and slowly drove by me walking the dog, WORST PART MY HOUSE WAS A MESS!! Mercer is scared her baby is going to be a midget but she's 39 weeks and that's when Mercer's step son died was 39 weeks so she's terrified for her daughter! Now I'm scared for my niece! I'm still banned on TikTok so I don't fucking know why or when I can post or comment but if I never get to then I'm changing accounts or quitting TikTok. This damn shit is getting fucking ridiculous! Maybe this evening I'll be able to post. I have actually thought about taking a break or not posting as much after I post the ones I have in my drafts just because I'm not feeling it nor am I feeling the damn sounds I saved in my favorites. I'm very fucking sleepy. I'm very anxious right now because well, 1. I stay anxious! 2. I haven't slept yet so that isn't help my anxiety case. 3. I haven't smoked the green tea or took my pill.

3-30-23

Still can't post on TikTok so I will see if in a week it's back or if they message me back about it. I ain't really having a good time now because my mental health isn't working this week so I need more prayers and patience. I hope I can post soon on TikTok but after I post some drafts I might take a break or hardly post on it for a bit because I'm not okay anymore. Internet went out but right now it's back on. Leslie pissed me off today and my brother came so yay! I'm just not okay and I really need energy. I may post later or I might not so we will see how I feel. My mental health isn't any better but I did research, WELL ATTEMPTED TO! TikTok still hasn't told me shit about my temporarily ban but I tried researching and if you have strikes they will expire but the issue is they EXPIRE IN 90 DAYS! So am I really going to have to wait 90 days to post on my account?! Going by the 28th my 90 days would be June 26th! If I waited that long and all of a sudden come back, EVERYBODY WOULD PROBABLY GO "SHE ISN'T DEAD!" I will end up posting on another account just because I will get bored and wanna post. TikTok please don't fail me now!

3-31-23

I'm unbanned now but I think I will still take a break or post less because I don't feel very good still. My tooth hurts again! The cold and I swear I really need fucking tubes put back in my ears. I think I might have strep or so because I have woken up with a sore throat. So there's still a chance my sister could give birth without being induced and my mama believes she'll come tomorrow. I ain't feeling so good right now, I feel like I'm about to explode in the bathroom. I don't know what end maybe bottom back one but who fucking knows. I need to go the fuck asleep! So me and Kailer has a girlfriend and stepson!! When you read the Characters 2 chapter, you'll find out who she is. I fell asleep writing but from my throat up to my head is killing me.

4-1-23

APRIL FOOLS DAY IS TODAY! Today is also the first day of paperview. I don't get to watch it yet but mama along with me predicted that the baby will come today but who knows? I really ain't feeling so good today, I mean I'm extremely hurting more today so I may just sleep hoping it gets better. I've been having bowel issues along with stomach ones so pray even more for me! <3 We secretly going to watch the paperview day 1 without Harper knowing because he'd have a shit fit!

●How much do you think she will weigh? Make this fun for everyone :) Please and thank you!●