My Best Friend's Brother

Grandma Sues

Francis and Piama had decided to visit the family the same time that their Grandma Ida came into town. 

Aria was happy to see Francis and Piama, it had been a while since she had either of them. Francis had started working at a farm called The Grotto and was doing really well, a lot better than when they were in Alaska. Hal and the boys recently visited him leaving Lois home alone, so Aria and Daphne invited her out for a girls’ day.

The three had gone to the movies, shopping and out to eat. Aria had fun with the women she saw as mother figures that day, admittedly Wendy did cross her mind every now and then. She wondered how her half brother was and if the woman who called herself Aria’s mother regretted what she said last year.

She shook off those thoughts as she walked into the Wilkerson home where she was greeted with the sight and sounds of Francis arguing with Ida at the breakfast table as everyone else silently watched.

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing!” Francis smacked the table as he stood. “Are you insane or just evil?”

Ida shouted back in her thick accent, “Aah! Wolves should rip out your throat!”

“What kind of complete idiot butters their toast like that?! Everybody knows it’s inside to outside!”

What had she just walked into? Aria thought slowly walking to the table as Francis furiously showed the bitter old woman the ‘correct way’ of buttering toast.

“Come talk to me of toast when you grow some hair in your pants.” Ida took a swing from her flask, scoffing. “Stupid animal thinks he knows about toast.”

“Well, that’s one way to start the day.” Aria mumbled, “Good morning, everyone.”

There were a few morning greetings before Lois spoke, “Mom, would you please pass the potatoes?”

“I think you’ve had more than enough potatoes. Does the chair have to break before you stop eating?” insulted Ida.

Aria glared at the old demon of a woman in irritation. The look on Lois’ face hurt the teen to see and she didn’t like how the dried prune spoke about her mother figure. Francis leaned over and whispered something to Piama.

“Lois is beautiful, Ida. This is her house. You should be grateful that she hasn’t made you stay at a crummy motel.”

Ida sneered at the blonde and said nothing else as she took a piece of bacon from Reese.

“Hey! Mom, Grandma just stole my bacon.”

“Reese, this is Grandma’s last day here. If she wants your bacon, you let her have it.” Lois told her son firmly.

Ida taunted, “Crybaby.”

Hal came into the kitchen with presumably Ida’s bags in his hands and on his shoulders. “Okay, Ida, I went ahead and did all your packing for you. Let's get a move on.”

“Bus doesn’t leave for three hours.”

Hal eager to get rid of his monster in law, “Yeah, but, uh, there could be a parade. It could take us all day to get through the traffic.”

“Oh, great. There’s barely any food left.” groaned Malcolm as he walked in through the back door.

Malcolm had been sleeping in a tent in the backyard since Francis, Piama and Satan’s wife got here. Aria had offered for him a place at her house but for some odd reason he said no, she accepted his answer but reminded him that there was always room for him on her couch.

“Well, you should’ve come when I called you.” Lois said.

Everyone walked Ida to the door and Francis helped Hal put the woman’s bags in the car.