pied piper

45 | Claim Me

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Sporadic chirpings broke out in the cool air, signaling me about the morning Sun rising steadily. The strong heat was deliberately decreasing along with time, drizzles of monsoon taking over.

I glanced at the foggy window, drops of rainwater condensed on the glass, clock ticking to the early hours of the day. It was serene, all too calm and quiet.

Despite my tiredness and lack of sleep last night and the night before, my brain refused to let me off to the land of dreams. It was chaotic— extremely chaotic in my head. So many thoughts and wonderments, so many things and emotions making so much more sense suddenly. Everything was falling back into place and I only became more distraught.

But in a weird sense, I was relieved.

Something so light and feather-like touching my heart but fluttering it each time. I smiled at the images I was able to see of my mom, excited to see many others that Jimin had promised to show me today. Each picture, although taken in my absence, let me create a different kind of backstory in my head, each one beautiful and breathtaking.

One that didn't have to end the way that it did.

With the last episode of the series I had started watching to cure the mess in my head, I yawned widely, blinking multiple times as my eyes followed up on the ceiling. With the sky still grayish blue, everything was beginning to light up, darkness fading into a slow motion of nothing but joining the flashing illumination of the sun's rays.

I suppressed a yawn, partially thinking of skipping school and sleeping the day away. But I knew the moment I would dip, all my sleep would flicker away within a matter of seconds.

And so, I decided to go to school. After all, I'm yet to receive the kiss that I have been promised.

About the break-up…

Staring at myself one last time, I patted any stray strands down, flashing a smile in the mirror before taking my bag and walking downstairs. As soon as I entered the living room, my gaze automatically turned to her, thoughts pitching to a straight line.

Although nerves bundled up on one another, I knew this was the best time to speak to…mom. The woman didn't deserve to be labeled with anything else. Despite the ups and downs we all faced, it was undeniable that even after just recently getting out of a toxic marriage, she proposed to take her sister's place only to tend to her children as her own.

I was glad to finally stop forcing myself to see her in a motherly blur of vision but more as a woman who despite never really being our mother took care of us as her own. Even through all those cold faces and foreign words, she had raised me up meticulously for 17 years, completely unsuspected.

"Uhm… mom?" I called her out hesitantly. One thing I realized, that regardless of the revelation and the enormous (somewhat) relief, the title still didn't seem any foreign to my tongue. Maybe I was too used to it. I had watched her and thought of her as a mother figure for so long that seeing her in a different light much like an aunt or a stepmother was pretty much out of the question.

"I...I am sorry for what happened yesterday," I brought my hands together, glancing up at her face before shifting my gaze down entirely. Another thing for sure, as soon as my gaze switched away from seeing her as my mom, something shifted. Now I knew why there was always space filled with nothing but emptiness. I thought maybe… just maybe we could actually get to know each other and get close. Not like mother-daughter but aunt-niece.

But she doesn't have to know that.

"I should've kept regard to your emotions too. You must've been tired from outside and I instantly bombarded you with my worries, I was wrong about that." I spoke precisely in a timed manner, curving my eyes as I smiled genuinely. "So, I'll try to improve myself for the next time and… I hope you forgive me, mom."