pied piper

55 | Divulgence

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"Y/n, open the door!"

"I swear to god you brat, open the damned door before I break it. I'm gonna unscrew all the hinges and take the door with me! Leaving you doorless!"

The shrillness of Jimin's annoying noise made me pause amidst my intense crying session, throbbing ache proudly taking comfort in my head in the form of a raging migraine, my vision quaking even from slight movement. It was stupid. Everything. My whole life had been.

I just had the first breakup of my life — and it was all so confusing; was it even a breakup? Did I have to explicitly say the words or was the anger and the overall manipulation word enough?

It was not like how it was so usually portrayed in movies and theaters for all of the audience to watch in glee, satisfied that it was worth their money. Was it all a lie? And if so, should this even be counted as a break-up if we weren't even together in the first place…well for him anyway. The strings he had attached to my heart tugged again.

Also, keeping the after-scenes of my first ever breakup in mind which included a bus getting late by an hour, sky raining cats and dogs, heavy oversized cats and dogs, being out of stock of any ice cream or consoling food items, being pestered by an elder brother. And of all… the said relationship.

And so, it was definitely not like a movie.

"Better brace yourself because I come in 3...2...2.9...2.8.."

A sigh escaped me and I wiped the dry trail of my tears with the back of my hand, unable to keep crying probably because there probably wasn't any more fluid left in my body to turn into humongous angry balls of tears, also, there was no point. To be entirely honest, I wasn't sure what emotion I should be feeling in the first place, anger? Well, he had already told me a myriad of times that he wasn't who he pretended to be, even to the extent that I'd come down to leave him. How could I have known he wasn't simply being modest?

How could I fathom that he was who he was!

The more I tried to think, the blanker it all became. Like I was trying to cheat off from a plain white sheet of paper. No avail. That definitely was all that I was to him as well; so oblivious to all the deceivings right under my fucking nose. It had always been there. Right exactly there…. he had never lied.

I simply never asked.

I couldn't be angry, couldn't be sad, no, I just…

"I love you, little bug."

I didn't know what to feel.

Continuing to remain helpless in the confines of the turmoil, I opened the door before the asshole could bark more.

"Hah! You bit….ch—Y/n, are you… crying?" Jimin blinked, his tone dropping immediately as he stood unsure, walking close to me, hands carefully putting down the loud stereo speaker thing I knew he planned to play Baby Shark on.

"What happened?"

That's what I've been asking myself all this time.

My lips quivered and I shuddered like a leaf, I knew if I were to start thinking again, I'd be unraveling to the speed of light pretty damn quick.

I don't know what happened.

"It's nothing, Chim."  I calmly expressed.

A few moments of silence passed by and I was starting to wonder if I had been imagining the whole interaction before my brother finally spoke, his tone holding an edge to it, a question so vague and yet it couldn't be any clearer.