pied piper

58 | A Feeling Of Love

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"Miss ma'am, breakfast is ready. Would you prefer it here or downstairs?"

Drying the last bits of my hair, I nodded. "I'll be downstairs in a bit, thank you."

Just as I turned my face forward to look at my reflection, the door opened again, this time with much more force, enthusiasm and...noise.

"Y/n!" I didn't need to spare a glance to confirm the owner of the undeniably loud and exuberant voice, but I did anyway.

"Breakie time!"

"Just a min!" I muttered without thinking, standing up but walking over to the doorsill whilst fixing the V-neck of the Cable-knit beige sweater in the process.

Something felt different today, maybe it was the weather, or the outfit, or maybe both.

"Let's go."

"Ah...Y/n, I've been meaning to ask..." And I paused, happy about my intuition being right, it wasn't just the weather and my clothes. "-does me addressing you as 'Y/n' make you uncomfortable?"

Uhm.

I gaped at Miss Rosa, unsure what her words meant. In the last 3 months I had spent here with her practically glued to my hip half the time, she would still manage to come with such eccentricity that would amaze me each day.

That's right, it had already been three full months. 49 days since I freed myself from the chains I had bound myself with. It was terrible, agonizing, and of all, tremendously delirious of me to simply want to move on so fast, however, I realized I couldn't go on to live like this. There was a reason I wasn't dead yet, the world needed me for a little longer and I was going to prove every bit of my worth.

Crying over bygones is the single stupidest thing one could do. Yet, I did it anyway. Maybe it was needed. Maybe it is not the stupidest thing one could do. It was needed indeed, a part of the closure that I deserved. Maybe it was still not done, maybe....it will never be done. But healing is a process and I was willing to take on the journey, that's for sure.

Instead of hiding behind the meaningless walls of blame and resentment, I chose to take control over my life, and claim it this time. And I started off by taking shooting classes, learning all about the functioning of different types of pistols and their unique ways. But of course, Jeongguk had been too cautious, not letting me leave the house premises but then again, the house premises were big enough to accumulate an entire island, and I was not once reminded of the fact I was basically in a hideout in case somebody decided to come after my head.

About Jimin, as it turns out, he already knew the true identity of Jeongguk. And Jeongguk knew he knew. And apparently, both of them knew that it was too dangerous for me to know.

I was fuming at first, and at second and the third time too, but you know how they say time is the biggest ointment, it worked its charm on me too. Now that I think about it...they did have a point, I'd have lost half my mind and laughed until the other half met the same fate.

Sometimes I'd accompany Jeongguk with his boxing sessions he'd have at the house but that too wasn't many days, considering how he would be going through back and forth all the time, overworking in every shape and form.

But then again, maybe this too was needed, a part in the delicate process of healing.

You know how they say distance makes the heart grow fonder?

I didn't know what we were anymore. We never discussed any of that, barely touched the topic even. I'd utilize the time simply being close to him anyway, and have him open up to me, truly, this time. And frankly, up until a few days ago, I wasn't ready either. I realized how I had been speed-throughing my entire life.