Lovely | B.E

T w e n t y - o n e

Billie's POV

I don't know what to do I'm falling apart. I have a boyfriend that I don't really want to be in a relationship with and my ex that's pretending she is in a relationship with me for my sake. Everything I say is to go back to Reese but I don't know. Its much harder than I thought it would be to choose. James has been wanting to see me for a couple days now but I always make the excuse that I cant because I'm currently recording or something like that.

I feel like he is starting to catch on though. Like yeah I am in a middle of writing a new album but there is only a certain amount of times I can use that excuse. I've also been avoiding Reese but mainly because how awkward it is. When we are around my mom she doesn't hesitate to do things we use to do but when its just us in the room you can feel the tension. I just want things to go back to the way they use to be.

I'm thinking of asking her to get back together with me but there is only one slight thing. Breaking up with James. I've always said that I have never been good at relationships or at least choosing whoever I'm going to date (apart from Reese) and I done it again.

Every now and the he's sexual with me but I just don't like him like that. I still do it though because he is my boyfriend and it will make him happy but all throughout it I feel numb.

Like doing the deed with Reese I can feel the compassion, the love and the reassurance especially with the codes words and the aftercare but it isn't like that with James. Its more rough but not the good way, I feel like he doesn't really care about how I feel as long as he gets off then that's all that matters. Like near the end I will be getting into it then he'll pull out and be like 'Your so good baby' and then roll over falling asleep. I just want to be happy.

Like what if I called Reese's dad and ask him if we can date. I know some fathers are quite traditional in that sense but I dont want to make it worse. You know what Im not going to talk to him but Ill talk to Reese. That is if i build the confidence. Its like Ill plan the converation in my head but as soon as Im face to face with her my mind is blank and I'm a stuttering mess.

I get into dragon and start preparing what i am going to say. Okay all I have to say is hi can we try again. But thats awkward tho so should I like start with short talk. Alright so pretend your reese.

*knock knock*

"Hey Reese"

"hey daddy"

Alright she wouldnt say that. I know yall call me daddy and mommy but my relationship is on the line so cut it out. Take two

"Hey Reese"

"Hey Bil" Better

"Can i come in"

"yea sure"

"So funny weather we are having huh"

"yeah 👹ahahahahahah👹"

Okay now your just making this awkward. Like she would never cackle like that it would be more welsh like ahahahahahah, Okay lets move on now what if she says yes then imma ask her on a date so lets practise that.

"Would you like to maybe go on a date with me"

"Of course da-" Im warning you now one more thing and Ill never ask for your advice again

"So I was thinking of going to this waterfall nearby and then getting some food"

"We dont need to go to a waterfall when there is one in between my legs"

Alright that is it im not asking for your advice or input ever. Well dont hold me to that but for a while at least.

It wasnt long after until I reach her apartment as its like only a 5 minute drive from my house. I stand outside and just look at the building ahead of me. What am I doing? Yeah Im trying to get back Reese but shouldnt I wait until shes ready. But what if shes waiting for me to ask. But what if she doesnt like me like that anymore and thats why she didnt ask. Alright you know what imma open this door go up to her door and ask her out there and then.

I get out of my car and shut the door gently. I walk up to her apartment and knock on the door.

"one sec" someone yelled inside so I started preparing myself

While I was mid thought the door opened and a girl answered the door with only a towel around her. Behind her I saw Reese doing up her belt up. Shes already moved on.

"Sorry umm wrong apartment" I started walking away down the hllway not to fast for it to be suspicious but not to slow so I can get out of there asap

"Billie wait up!" someone called as they start running down the corridor.

-877 words